Frugal LivingStarting a BusinessFinding a JobIndustriesReal EstateBusinessPersonal FinanceSelf-EmploymentScams & FraudInsurance

How to Handle the Office Bully and Financial, Verbal, Emotional, and Physical Abuse

Updated on April 24, 2016
Source

Have You Been Bullied? - Do Not be Misled by Misinformation

How many workers in America are bullied each year?

Many workers and many people in America generally feel powerless. They never report bullying or bullies. While the Internet includes unsubstantiated claims that 80% of workplace bullying cases are litigated in the USA; as of mid-2011, this is not the case.

Under someone's thumb? Workplace Bullying is inappropriate and a form of harassment.
Under someone's thumb? Workplace Bullying is inappropriate and a form of harassment.

Rather, 80% of the bullied walk away and find another job. This is one reason for a high high employe turnover rate that is not discussed openly.

At the same time, many sources expect 80% of US employers to have a written policy against bullying sometime in the decade of the 2010s. As of 2013, a little progress has been made.

References:

Although many workers report that they have been bullied at work, other individuals may not know what bullying includes or how to recognize it when it occurs. Overall, bullying creates a hostile work environment and this uncomfortable work atmosphere is against EEO requirements and can be reported in an official complaint. Equal numbers of men and woman become bullies in the workplace, so it is not just men and not just women that might abuse an employee.

One hallmark of bullying in the workplace is that a talented, competent employee is the one that is usually bullied, rather than someone that does a mediocre or bad job. A talented, skillful individual is a threat to the bully.


A full 80% of those who are bullied in the workplace walk away and find another job.

Red Flags to Recognize Occur When

Good workers are being constantly criticized, having their job responsibilities taken away, or being assigned meaningless, made-up tasks or "busy work" to perform on a daily basis.

Some of these employees are given nothing to do at all and then bosses write them up for not doing anything. This is bullying and abuse. Other signs of abuse in the workplace:

  • A supervisor constantly yells at workers.
  • A supervisor or coworker picks on the same people in front of others or in private where there are no witnesses.
  • A boss constantly blocks someone's promotions.
  • A supervisor sabotages an employees work or claims it as his own.
  • A boss, supervisor, or coworkers deliberately ignore certain individuals at work and put them "out of the loop."
  • A supervisor overloads employees, sets unreasonable deadlines, and requires many hours work beyond full-time, without additional pay. NOTE: if the average wage because of this added requirement dips below Federal Minimum Wage, legal action is allowable.
  • A supervisor attacks a worker personally and name-calls.
  • A boss, supervisor or coworkers make jokes about an employee.
  • A boss or supervisors consistently give an employee equipment that does not work, such as the oldest computer in the building and it is broken.
  • A boss places an employee in dangerous positions, such as at a front desk area into which gunfire has recently perpetrated, without adding security measures. Another example is giving only certain employees workspace that does not have adequate heating, cooling, and ventilation.

Financial Bullying in the Workplace

This is one type of bullying not often discussed. A few cases came to light in my state, where a few employers in small businesses held one or another employee's paycheck an extra week or left town on payday for two weeks without paying an employee. Some restaurants were fining employees for broken dishes and requiring them to purchase expensive uniforms from a cronie. All this was illegal and created financial hardship.

One boss paid his employees when he felt like it in a small office and the two women employed went 3-4 weeks without pay and finally quit.They reported to the Unemployment Office, whose representative researched the employer and found that they had never paid any Unemplyment Premiums, Workers Compensation Premiums, not most of their State and Local taxes, and definitely did not turn in payroll taxes taken from the two women's paychecks. Several legal actions were taken.

Another employer cut wages without telling his employees. Paychecks were simply far less one week.

Another boss, in a larger company, eliminated health insurance and cut wages for all workers that were not available 24/7/365 (his definition of full-time availability), although his business was open only 10 hours per day.

Another company owner began reducing wages 5% every year once the workers turned 50 - not only did these employes not receive the 3% raise others received, but lost and additional 5% (8% total) and suffered from inflation as well.

There were multiple dozens of these cases, and most came to light only after employees quit, found other work, and filed grievances with EEO. Many of these companies closed down, coincidentally avoiding litigation. In each case, the bullied targets were responsible, talented, intelligent people that represented a professional threat to the boss.

I'll add my own early experience -- For one year, I worked as General Manager of a chain store at a specific wage, putting in required unpaid extra hours weekly to make a solid success and I enjoyed the work. We earned regional profit awards that year. After that year, I learned that my wages were actually significantly below the bottom of the pay scale for that position, despite my producing higher profits than many other stores (it's easy to learn this through the Internet these days; we did not have it then).

I made a formal and polite grievance. Within 60 days, my store and one other local store in the chain abruptly closed and staff were laid off. My final paycheck included only two of the final weeks at the correct pay rate, although at the very bottom of the pay range. Soon thereafter, the entire chain was sold to individual owners.

One lesson from this is that employees are entitled to know the actual range of pay going into a job and can research their company and pay ranges easily today.

Bullying Will Make You Sick

Bullying causes increased feelings of stress and tension in the body anca can lead to clinical indications of :

  • anxiety,
  • weight gain (Even if you don't eat more!),
  • headaches,
  • backaches,
  • nausea,
  • ulcers,
  • insomnia,
  • over sleeping,
  • nightmares,
  • skin rashes,
  • diahrrea,
  • irritable bowel syndrome,
  • high blood pressure,
  • depression,
  • low self-confidence,
  • organ involvement of kidneys and heart,
  • suicidal ideation (thoughts of suicide)

Ways Not to Handle A Bully

Instead of taking the action that is many times proven to stop a bully, some onlookers want to "play pranks" on a bully, "punch him in the nose", "give him an ugly Christmas gift", write limericks about him on the batroom walls, etc. To what end? None of these will stop the bully and may inflame the bullying behavior futher.

The onlookers are seeking not to stop the bully, but to one-up the bully and bring themselves what they see as higher status socially in doing so. They place themselves into the bullying category in seeking revenge, instead of a solution.

How to Handle Bullying in the Workplace

A total of at least 44% of all Americans have reported that they have experienced abuse in the workplace as of 2012.

This figure was reported from a study completed by the Employment Law Alliance. It is a shocking fact that nearly half of all American workers report that they have been abused at work. This does not include the number of American workers that are afraid to report it and do not tell anyone about it.

It is impossible to know just how many people in the US are abused on the job each year, because not everyone reports it; but whatever the number is, it is too high.

In order to lower these numbers, people need to learn what exactly abuse entails and that there are various ways to prevent it and to stop it. I believe is begins with education in the home, followed by education and practice at school, and should include not only any-sexual-harassment training in the workplace, but anti-bully and anti-abuse training on the job for everyone as well.

We as a country and as individuals must take the existence of abuse extremely seriously. It does occur and it does happen in the workplace.

Many of people that suffer abuse at work simply choose to quit and escape the menace and the stress, but not everyone feels that they are able to do that. For those who can't escape an abusive boos or coworkers, start with these principles:

1. Know and believe this -

Abusive behavior from your boss, a coworker, or anyone else is not your fault. Ever! It's not even about you - It's about control, just like rape. The target could be anyone. There was one before you and there will be one after you unless something is done to break the cycle and stop the abusive behavior.

No one deserves abuse at any time for any reason. Abuse is an inappropriate reaction. If you have done something wrong at work, you can expect to be corrected and perhaps even disciplined and after a prescribed number of write-ups or other disciplinary actions, even fired. However, you do not deserve to be abused. This abuse includes yelling, hitting, shunning, belittling, sarcasm, name calling, and other inappropriate actions.

If you are the victim of a workplace tyrant, it's easy to internalize blame and feel helpless. But falling into this negativity trap can take its toll on your health and self-esteem.

Try using a Mental Bank account to build yourself up. Mentally vaccinate yourself against the office bully with affirmations and positive self talk. Tell yourself that you are a good person and will continue to do a good job while you look for away out. You job is not who your are, so take up some hobbies if you don't have any. Make sure that work is just part of your day, not your whole day.

Revenge Does Not Stop a Bully

Some people want to abuse the bully, but that makes the cycle worse - in fact, the bully can become so enraged that he kills someone. The people that want revenge want revenge, not justice, no change, and not an end to bullying. They want to elevate themselves by doing the same thing the bully is doing.


2. Insanity is doing the same thing every time and expecting a different result. Stop it!

You cannot change a bully, ever. Only she/he can change himself, short of good therapy or a miracle from God. Keeping an upbeat attitude will get old under the constant haranguing of a bully. Just hoping the office bully will change is hopeless. Accept the fact of the abuse and make plans to address it or quit and address it.

3. Find some good friends that build you up.

Talk about the abuse with sympathetic people at work. Mutual support and communication can help reduce stress and stop the isolation that your abuser wants to you suffer. Don't just complain - get support and go to Human Resources and/or your Employee Assistance Program. Get counseling and file an EEO complaint if the abusive situation is not remedied.

4. Learn Verbal Self Defense and Assertiveness Training Skills.

Your EAP or local YMCA, YWCA, Recreation Centers, or Mental Health network can help you locate free and low-cost classes for these remarkable and useful skills.

5. Quit and file EEO charges.

For me, it is better to live in a cardboard box on the street that to accept abuse!

If everyone I know were to become abusive, then I like myself well enough to be alone and I can find new employment.You have to believe in yourself, even when no one else does.

A lot of help exists for those who have experienced such abuse that they must quit. Call your local social services or court related agencies for a list of organizations that will help. You may be able to receive unemployment benefits.

© 2007 Patty Inglish

Comments, Questions, and Solutions

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 15 months ago from North America

      Aki46 - I think you are right about the FMLA use not being allowed to generate bad marks against a worker (see quote below).

      My opinion is that you should see your attorney as quickly as possible and present this information. I know that in USA, if the company is small enough in revenues, then the leaders are not required by law to make accommodations for disabilities in workers. If you work for the government of any kind, then I think they must make the accommodations. If it is a non-profit company receiving federal funding, then I believe they have to make the accommodation, - check with your attorney.

      When anything else negative happens about this to you at work, write it down and call your attorney.

      Department of Labor quote:

      JOB RESTORATION AND HEALTH BENEFITS

      Upon return from FMLA leave, an employee must be restored to his or her original job or to an equivalent job with equivalent pay, benefits, and other terms and conditions of employment.

      An employee’s use of FMLA leave cannot be counted against the employee under a “no-fault” attendance policy.

      Employers are also required to continue group health insurance coverage for an employee on FMLA leave under the same terms and conditions as if the employee had not taken leave.

    • profile image

      Aki46 15 months ago

      Yesterday I was given my first evaluation even though I've been employed for almost 3 years. This is the 4 time they have given evaluations to my coworkers.

      Yet the first time I received one.

      I was given poor marks on 3 sections.

      When I questioned my boss if those poor reviews were based on my FMLA leave she said" partly"

      I didn't think they were allowed by law to give remarks based on FMLA.

      I have also requested an accommodation that would allow me to work but they have refused to accommodate my disability making it impossible for me to be there.

      What should I do?

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 15 months ago from North America

      You are welcome and will be in my thoughts as well!

    • profile image

      Aki46 15 months ago

      Thanks so much for your encouragement and most of all the prayers

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 15 months ago from North America

      It sounds like you have a good plan for your situation. I'm sending out best thoughts and prayers for a new job for you.

    • profile image

      Aki46 15 months ago

      I am documenting everything. I think I am going to sign the mediation papers the EEOC sent and get this behind me.

      I called in to work this morning.

      I am stressed out over all of this.

      I just want it to be over with. I wish I had another job to go to.

    • profile image

      Patty Inglish, MS 15 months ago

      Ask your attorney exactly what he thinks you should do. Since invoices appear to be manipulated to be late to you, your attorney should have some definite suggestions.

      When money and A/P, payroll, and benefits are at stake, legal advice is best, but the company might fire you in retaliation for going to the media or press frivolous charges against you or threaten to press charges.

      It sounds like someone may be setting you up for financial missteps in late payment of invoices and perhaps other financial issues like errors on paychecks, like deductions for taxes, etc.; wrong # of hours worked, wrong pay rates, etc.

      Be careful, document everything, and stay safe!

    • profile image

      Aki46 15 months ago

      Patty,

      I work for a local government agency so, in the public sector.

      There are now signs of sabotaging my work. Such as having vendors send invoices to other employees instead of me.

      I am receiving statements but at that point the invoices are past due. I have called the vendors and they told me they have another person as their contact for invoices.

      I am the HR/Accounting Assistant. I do payroll, and accounts payable and assist employees with benefits.

      Do you know if I take the steps above if I could get in trouble for taking it to the news station? The treatment at this point I believe is intentional infliction of emotional distress. I have contacted an attorney that I will see Wednesday. Any advice?

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 16 months ago from North America

      Amen to all of that!

    • profile image

      Aki46 16 months ago

      Thank you so much for your help and recommendations. I had not thought about finding a support group but that will be very helpful.

      I just want to work and provide for my family. It's very sad that there are people in this world that are so cruel.

      This woman knows all about my struggles. I shared with her thinking she was my friend. Only to find out that she was only taking notes to use against me at her enjoyment.

      But I am seeking help from the Lord as well.

      I know He will take care of me.

      The spirit of fear doesn't come from God.

      I am continually praying for strength to get through this very difficult time.

      I will take your advice and share with you the outcome.

      Thanks again!

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 16 months ago from North America

      @Aki46 - They discourage you from filling with EEOC in order to avoid a black mark on the company's record and individual abusers' records, and to avoid legal consequences that are sometimes very expensive for them.

      See your doctor (or get a doctor), have him/her document the physical and mental problems associated with this bullying. File with the EEOC. Find a support group to help you mentally survive. Go to the TV news media and tell them about it - the situation may be put under a microscope of public criticism. Find an attorney that specializes in labor law and report to that person about the slander and discrimination for "craziness" that does not even exist..

      You can take a stand now, or have the rest of your work and job taken away for false, slanderous reasons ("craziness"), then take the case to the Unemployment Insurance office and apply for benefits, which will get the company investigated; and perhaps sue for slander and/or wrongful termination..

      None of it will be easy, but I sense you will be pretty sick soon if you stay and accept the escalating abuse.

      Best wishes to you!

    • profile image

      Aki46 16 months ago

      I shared with someone who was a coworker that I had been hospitalized due to extreme stress and depression over 13 years ago and was suicidal. She is now my direct boss and is using that information against me.

      The General Manager, my direct boss and another supervisor make remarks to me daily about my mental state. They have started calling me "psycho, f&$@ing nuts and make references to my straitjacket."

      My boss sent me home because I was going to have OT on my check. I had always been allowed OT until she became my direct boss.

      I feel this is due to her knowledge of my past mental history.

      I went to file a grievance for being singled out since I was the only employee that was not allowed OT. The GM looked at me and told me "I was crazy and needed to call a psychiatrist"

      I ended up tearing up the grievance after she told me civil service was a joke.

      Since the treatment continues and in fact has gotten worse, My depression is back and I have been suicidal. I am having panic attacks every day I am supposed to go to work. I asked for an ADA accommodation because I felt my job was on the line.

      They have yet to accommodate me and I filed an EEOC charge of disability discrimination.

      Since then they have taken the majority of my work away. They have started enforcing rules they never have before.

      I am walking on eggshells.

      My direct boss told me she no longer trusts me and has started locking her office door.

      The GM told me she wanted me to understand that filing the EEOC charge was bad for workplace morale.

      I am struggling. I have to work. I have no choice to go into that environment daily.

      But I am not sure I am strong enough mentally to get through the harassment, bullying and isolation that gets worse with each passing day.

      Is there anything else I can do? I have been told that EEOC charges can drag out for years.

      I'm not sure I will survive it. However I know if I don't stay the course this will continue.

      I am not the first person with a mental illness that has been targeted. They fired another girl. Asked a supervisor to step down, all after they found out they had a past or was seeking therapy for mental health.

      At this point I am wondering if it's worth it. I am so stressed I have lost down to 120lbs. I can't eat, sleep and I am constantly anxious.

      Please any advice or encouragement is appreciated.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 2 years ago from North America

      A few years ago, I helped a woman file an Unemployment Claim after she quit her job because of abuse from her employer, who lost his job eventually. It helped her that he had done some illegal activities on the job and failed to file taxes and pay the employee payroll deductions he took from their paychecks to the government for his crew for years, but she received Unemployment. Look into that.

    • profile image

      Tessa 2 years ago

      Here I sit unemployed and I am not one bit happy. I am also another victim of employee bullying. Why? Because my old company employed a boss who was very likely drug addicted. He had all of the symptoms: Glassey eyed, staggering gait, forgetful, and verbally abusive. He was terminated but the the newly hired boss was just as bad! Despite the fact that she did not have signs of drug addiction, she was very controlling, degrading and she yelled and several of us. I just could not take it any longer so I resigned. She is still gainfully employeed yet I am unemployed so where is the justice? I know it was my choice (if you can call it a choice) to resign but I was mentally and physically exhausted. My life was literally reduced to depression and jangled nerves. My hope is that someday a law will be passed where the abusive bullies are forced off the job so others who deserve to be there can work productively, live happily, and be free of these miserable demons. They say what goes around comes around so I clearly believe it's time for them to be terminated immediately because it really is there's to "own" and not ours.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 3 years ago from North America

      Yes, it is bullying, abuse, and discrimination, because it includes:

      1. Ignoring you,

      2. Putting you out of the loop of work activity and refusing to supply data,

      3. Bad mouthing and name-calling or gossiping about you,

      4. Plagiarizing your work or at least your expertise by taking your place in writing reports on your area instead of his/her own...

      File a formal complaint with your supervisor and go up the chain of command to HR if necessary; also get a labor attorney - consultations free.

    • profile image

      Mary 3 years ago

      I am a manager at work and a new manager has recently jioned the company she is at the same level as me but gossips to others about me, calls me whinny, refuses to invite me to meetings even though it concerns my area, writes papers to the executive that cover my area but dose not consult me. Her team bad mouth and put down my team and generally display an air of superiority over the rest of the organisation. I look for reports and data from her team and this is not supplied - does this amount to bullying? My stress levels are off the scale I am starting to have major health problems, my team is feeling overwhealmed through lack of support - any ideas would be really helpful

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 3 years ago from North America

      It tooks like robbery in the retail sector is still the biggest source of workplace homicides as of 2010 at 27%, but I see from the news that school shootings are occurring more frequently, or we hear about them more often. And the fact that 39% of homicides to women at work were by aquaintances (only 3% of the men's homicides) points a finger directly at bullying and abuse.

      Work should not be a life-or-death place.

    • Say Yes To Life profile image

      Yoleen Lucas 3 years ago from Big Island of Hawaii

      ...and then they wonder why workplace shootings happen...

      http://www.bls.gov/iif/oshwc/cfoi/osar0016.htm

      This will continue until bullying is no longer tolerated.

      I could tell you some stories, but they're unfit to print.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 4 years ago from North America

      I hope you find a much better employer soon!

    • profile image

      Bullied 4 years ago

      Workplace bullying has to stop. All bullying has to stop. I am now unemployed. Bullied and then lied to (gaslighting).

    • profile image

      kittydog 4 years ago

      I agree it has to stop, but there is no easy answer to solve the problem. When you need a paycheck, when you are the only one being targeted, when it is your word against a manager that is trusted, it is basically like you take it, or start looking for a job without being able to have a reference for your current job. I document the bullying I have endured the last 3 months, but have no one to turn them into that wouldn't make the situation worst. I wish everyone that has to endure bullying to feed their children the very best, and I hope you know your not on your own, there are many of us out there.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 4 years ago from North America

      Stop accepting abuse. File complaints. Report it when you see it.

    • profile image

      Pascale Tchebou 4 years ago

      Healthcare ...hospitals are a playground for bully... Honestly, what can be done?

    • profile image

      stopthebully2day 5 years ago

      Before proceeding, I just scanned Ms. Inglish's response - she already suggested you consult an attorney. Don't let grass grow under your feet - heed her advice. Here is an update of where I am in my quest. The bully AND his supervisor have lied to the company's attorney. Keep good notes with date and time. Copies of my notes and other documents should, if nothing else, rock the boat again and really draws the supervisor into the protection of the bully with lies. Makes me wonder why the bully is protected and reinforces my thought that the bully cannot exist without a network to support him/her. I may not "win" the battle monetarily, but at least I called him out for what he is. Also, I believe on some level bullies are mentally ill.

    • profile image

      stopthebully2day 5 years ago

      To David M. This is disgusting. Perhaps you might ask an attorney if this is illegal in your state/county/city. If so, I would take two lunches - one for her to spit in and one to eat out of sight. Leave the bait and excuse yourself to the restroom. Look for spit in the one you don't eat and take it to the police with your evidence. By all means, get the blood test. Hopefully you have had a recent one to compare it with.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 5 years ago from North America

      1) Document everything about this every day in a log book with names, dates and times. Be prepared to call witnesses in court. Stop eating lunch there. Keep granola bars in your car or desk or pocket if you have to do so.

      2) Go to the doctor, tell him/her what happened and get a blood test.

      3) File a Worker's Compensation claim a) for the spitting and possible infection to you - and you can sue on top of the WC because this was intentional, and b) for emotional distress. Yes, infectious diseases count on Workers Compensation.

      4) Contact your county or state EEO office and discuss the matter with them.

      5) See a WC attorney for a free consultation.

    • profile image

      David M. 5 years ago

      I recently found out the owner's daughter who is a coworker has been spitting in my lunch. She had admitted it to several other coworkers. She has also made work for me a living hell. She even admitted to several coworkers that she hates me. She is always going to her daddy to make even the most minute detail an enormous event so as to make my work performance look poor. I have never once done anything to antagonize her to warrant such behavior. Are there any legal options for me? It is a small company with her parents being the owners. Thoughts? Suggestions? I am seriously afraid of having some biological disease from her saliva. Please help.

    • profile image

      Walter Miester 5 years ago

      I just started a new job that had to most toxic personality I have ever witnessed in my entire life! This guy's bulling even had management scared! I assume they thought he would be the one most likely to show up with a gun if dismissed. Anyway, I called him out in front of the whole store, treating him just like the dirt he was! I'm proud I set the tone for the rest of the crew to follow. I'm, of course, not there anymore and very happen I found a better job. You dont have to to be nice to a bully! It worked for me

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 5 years ago from North America

      Many of us feel your pain and these situations need solutions and justice. You seem determined to make it so, thus a good example to us all.

    • profile image

      stopthebully2day 5 years ago

      To update my previous comments, here is what I have found. By the time attorneys take their time handling a situation, it is most likely too late to go to the EEOC or lodge a complaint with OSHA or any other entity due to time limits in reporting incidents. This is happening, I believe, to me. The company's attorneys are dragging this out; they are not stupid by any means. I should have gone to the EEOC whether or not I had an attorney. So, based on my experience, I would consult an attorney AND go to the EEOC. It may be too late for the EEOC to do anything. However, if something is not resolved in the next two weeks, I shall go to the EEOC just to get this company on record. As Ms. Inglish has stated over and over again, document each instance. Make sure you date your notes. If there is one, make sure you have a copy of the company policy regarding harassment/intimidation/retaliation. The last thing I want is more government intervention in business and our lives (United States). However, after my experiences with the bully, the management of the company, human resources, and the cost of an attorney, I am ready to get on the bandwagon.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 5 years ago from North America

      Some employees don't realize that they are in isolation at the beginning, because some of this is quite subtle at first. People are thinking more about it now.

    • Jack White profile image

      Jack White 5 years ago from Ormeau Road, Belfast, Ireland

      Great hub!

      Combating isolation is often the first step in facing up to a workplace bully.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 5 years ago from North America

      What sort of place was that you worked?

    • louromano profile image

      louromano 5 years ago

      Thanks Pattie, this is great. I left a job where the boss had called me a crazy woman with a kick board. He said he sacked me for talking to the shower and using the word aura. Thanks.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 5 years ago from North America

      Can you take legal action against the former Senior? Consult with an attorney or solicitor and we hope it is not too late.

    • profile image

      JAMES V 5 years ago

      I was bullied at work,I worked as a Controller of a company and my senior gave wrong informations to my Boss who is a foreigner. Eventhough my relation was good with my Boss, my senior became successful in misleading my boss. The Senior permanantly canvassed some of the office staffs in bullying me always and one day he called the office staffs in the meeting room and they all started insulting me for not making the payroll infact the company has no money to pay. The so called Senior told certain office staffs to talk against me and the planned attempt was successful in attacking me for almost two hours. I handled the company during a bad period of financial stress and they do not co operate in my attempt to reduce the problems but he joined with outside vendors in bullying me. Almost four years I worked for the company as a controller and at the same time performing all the work other than a Controller, I was asked to leave the company. By writing about this misbehaviours, threatening and so called politics the senior played on me by posting here, I will satisfy myself that I have done my part by not hiding a serious mistake of a management.

    • profile image

      Kevin F 5 years ago

      I tried to be happy everyday while everyday being mentally abused at work.

      It caused me to now have a mental condition.

      Get out! Quit! find another job! say to hell with them,him,or her.

      Nothing will change the evil in these kinds of people, and you will loose your will to be happy, get out now and save yourself the mental disorder you will receive from trying to think they will change and you will win them over, You will end up with a deep hate for people and a whole inside you will find hard to patch.

      don't be ashamed to leave,You will feel the fredom you deserve, and they can just receive their karma reward someday.

      You are not weak to leave ,you are strong to leave and get away from the tyrant that blows the big one.

      Remember ,If I ever meet you I will love you,and so will so many others who will see the love in you.

      Bless you My good friends,Please say hi to a stranger ,or have a great day or anything that will make someone new smile today.

      Kevin F.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 5 years ago from North America

      That's a good plan. Document and use the information. Work should not be punishment and it was clearly that under the child-hating alpha.

    • profile image

      5 years ago

      I was in the same boat until about a year ago.

      I worked for a company for 4 years that caters to some well known national clients. During that time the owner, an alpha-male with too much ego, would use a belligerent/sarcastic/deriding style when addressing me while he would address the female co-workers in much softer tones. This grew over time and started out slowly. He would often question my work habits (I have twenty plus years experience) in front of others or most often create an argument that he was already prepared to take the other side in just to get his ego going for the day.

      Some days were rougher than others. I would find myself the workhorse on certain projects only to be pushed aside when it was time for the clients to see the work, and when that happened my female co-workers would get the credit. I only use the term "female" to highlight that my former boss has some gender issues and not to insult the other 50% of the planet. They are hard working people as well and just don't want to rock the boat. Regardless these situations left me demoralized and questioning my own status and if I was fit for the business I was in.

      On one occasion I knew that there was going to be trouble. One of my co-workers made a mistake with a brand new client that cost thousands of dollars and a delay in a release of client materials. I was never asked to review this younger coworkers work, but had I done that I would have caught the mistake. It didn't matter. When the mistake was found out by my former he treated my coworker gently while taking out his anger on me for a job that I had noting to do with.

      During this time my wife is pregnant. My alpha male boss loses no opportunity to tell anybody that will hear him how stupid people are for having kids, and that kids are just "rats" for all he cares. This isn't made up. He really said tis in front of me and others several times. It was meant to intimidate and insult me and my family to be.

      Not long after these types of remarks, two months before my daughter was to be born, I was told that there was no more work "for me", and good luck in the future. There was plenty of work for those who potentially lost a new client but nothing for me.

      No severance. No vacation time. Nothing less than a kick in the stomach during the worst economic downturn in 70 years. Thanks for nothing.

      That was a year ago, but the upside is that I have had time to spend with my wonderful daughter.

      I was a damn good employee. All I wanted to do was do my job and hope that the nastiness would go away.

      There's one thing that I will be doing in my next line of work if I am ever bullied again, and that is buying a digital audio recorder. I will keep it on my person and let the next bully(s) hang themselves with their own words. I will protect myself this time, and god help the fool who tries to take my dignity because I will litigate.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 5 years ago from North America

      I appreciate you taking the time to post your experiences. These abusive work situations are inexcusable.

    • profile image

      Kei 5 years ago

      I'm quite surprised to find out that there are many abusive & bully situations just like mine. I just got fired from my job because of a false accusation working at a dept. store. My supervisor wanted me to quit for over 4-yrs & tried many abusive behavior on me so that I will quit the job, and yelled at me many times to quit. She has done many other awful things like shoved me away fm my costomers and gave my commissions to her favorite associates on purpose so that I will quit. She has also cheated on my commissions many times. I've heard that there has been many other coworkers in the past that has quit & got fired & I've actually seen several that had quit because of her abusivenes & not being fair. What's so sad about it is that this manager has been working here for 17-yrs, that she is getting totally trused. Nobody (upper mgmt people) will ever believe me even if I tell them the truth. The truth is that she is such an abusive, controling, manupulative person & even cheats on my commission & break company rules. She has been framing me to fire me for 4-yrs & I've got written up for being totally innocent several times. Finally when I got written up from these groups of three bullied customers, they had reported on me from a huge misunderstanding, then my mgr had fired me w/o asking what happened. She has yelled at me fm the top of her head & fired me. I had been terribly victimized by her controling personality, bullying & that she will manupulate everything in her own ways twist things around to make me as if its all my fault. She will jump conclusion she has made me feel bad in fron of other coworkers many times by cutting me down. I'm not a slow person but kept on telling me that I'm slow at the register, etc. She will constantly verbal abuses me in any way that she could.

      Its so sad that this whole world has been taken over by these bullied controling people. They need to make some kind of a new law about this kind of an abusiveness at work issues because it has tortured me for many yrs. I started to get very depressed & I even started to binge on food when I'm not even hungry & have gained a lot of weight & game me a lot of headaches. Everybody, its not worth it. Life's too short. Just get away from it if you can ASAP fm any kind of an abusiveness or fm getting bullied at. I'm only worried about how I'm ever going to find another job now because I got fired now. I am in mid 50's. I have never encountered in this type of abusiveness before in my life!! I would simply say that only the uneducated people with low class low level people will do such thing. Bring us all a justice to all the people that had gotten abused & bullied from their coworkers. I really feel for them & Peace on Earth.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 5 years ago from North America

      I suggest consulting with an attorney, but the work environment is making you ill. What sort of workers' compensation system do you have in your country? In USA, the conditions you describe could amount to a lawsuit for the employee against the bosses and company.

    • profile image

      Tracey 5 years ago

      I too have been bullied at work, mine started over 18 months ago. At first i thought it was me that was the problem bu then things seem to go from bed to hell. I even lost my voice due to the amount of stress that my boss had caused me. It all started when i had a sore throat and i could speak for nearly 2 weeks. when i returned to work after being signed off by my doctor because my job involving speaking on the telephone all day, wheni returned i noticed things weren't right. The stress of work and a few personnel problems had completely got to me that the muscles around my voice box had lock on, so my speech became even more worst. It got to the stage where i wasn't fir for work and was signed off for over 10 months after lots of hospital visits and speech therapy i had to fight to get back into the job which i had done for 2 years prior to go off sick. Whilst i was off i would go into work so that they could see i wasn't bluffing them off . My speech was unbearable i wasn't able to eat, sleep or drink. All i wanted to do was return to work. Since my retuen on the 5th September 2011 they have done everything possible to make my life a living hell. I have spoken to my HR and they made me have a meeting with my boss to try to outline what the problems ans issues were. I had gone from being the most happyest person in my office to the most unhappy. Even now the stress that they cause me make me think i should look for another job. I have discussed every stage of what has happen to me with my 16 year old daughter and even she has advised me to get out and look for another job. I am being to think she is right all i want to do is go to work so that i can provide for my children and wonder why these people can make your life such a misery. I am off work next week thanks god but i am dreading a week on monday when i have to return to the mental abuse.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 5 years ago from North America

      Comment to a friend and others in any workplace bullying scenario -

      EEO takes long-term written documentation from an employee very seriously, with more weight than anything verbal-only a company rep may say against the charges. Further, if the company has no written record of the events, then the EEO will investigate workers' charges very seriously (they always have in Ohio).

      If a company suddenly wants to bring memos to the abused person and have the victim/target sign those letters that he/she himself was at fault in the abusive events, then this may be a sign that either 1) a paper trail against an innocent victim is starting, or 2) the victim is not so innocent. There are cases of abuse in which the abuser provokes his victim to the point that the victim acts out to become viciously abusive himself. Be careful not to get caught in this trap at home, at work, at school, anywhere.

      Mental Health Counseling is always good to have in these tough cases as well. It helps the target and serves as evidence just in having occurred.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 5 years ago from North America

      Before going to the news, you must start documenting this maltreatment on a daily basis in a log with names, dates, days, and times and on the next physical occurrence, call the police immediately. If you have no written documentation at present, then going on the news will be attention-getting, but you may look foolish and even be fired for allegedly "lying" about the company.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 5 years ago from North America

      Unequal in NOLA - The second someone at work hits you, even on hand or arm, is the second you should call police and press charges. Yes, document everything by day, date, and time, keep a log book, and get an attorney ASAP.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 5 years ago from North America

      And while it sounds mercenary, you deserve to fight for a larger monetary settlement as well. Ask for changes in policy at that company to ensure future safety. Did the boss get fired?

    • profile image

      Lsnelling 5 years ago

      I find this sight alittle to late. My spouse was continuously bullied at work for about six months. His boss would verbally abuse him and make him do things that was not his job. The last task cost him his life. Even sadder the bully stood over him while he died with out lifting a finger to get him medical attention. My husband was made to do a training exercise in which he had no previous training nor qualifications. OSHA has found the company was wrong and that the hazard conditions during the exercise would have lead to serious injury or death. Nothing will bring my husband back, but I will fight to the end to get justice.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 5 years ago from North America

      That's a tough situation for you to be handling. Perhaps the bully will transfer out. In the meantime, my best thoughts go to you.

    • profile image

      rcamarillo 5 years ago

      I already looked into the line of work I do, there are very few places that do my type of work and they are very far, very expensive areas to live in. I have been here for 8 years and am good at what I do. So, with having a sick mom, kids and sister to take care of, I have to decide to relocate of just thoughen up and have more time and stability for the sake of my family. Recently, a problem, regarding the same bully, was presented by another co-worker and our bosses seem to not like to confront the bully. They simple said, "Try to fix it, or deal with it, we are all adults here!", I agree to some point, but some "adults" are jerks of nature. All they did was sent a office etiquette reminder to everyone. They try to avoid being aroung when it's a tense environment. Pff... I guess, I will have to deal with it. Some people that have authority and power, know that us peasants (struggling people lol), NEED to keep their job at all costs. :-[

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 5 years ago from North America

      That is an unhappy thing when those in authority take no action to stop obvious problems. I, too, would lose my interest in such a career. Perhaps you will receive a promotion out of there or could you transfer to another, more healthy, department?

    • profile image

      rcamarillo 5 years ago

      Hi Patty,

      Thank you for your time and advice. I have taken some inniciative and read alot about controlling my emotions, breathing techniques and it was so hard, but I disciplined myself to ignore this women that harrasses me. It is so hard, but she has lowered a notch on the harrassing because I completely ignore her and am happy, even sometimes faking happiness. She assumes I am not hurt and walks away, I think it's working, she will leave me alone...but, I am so dissapointed in my supervisor and boss. I have to literally go through this, and not only me, another employee here too. We are the highest in demand and our supervisors see we are uncomfortable and they do nothing!!!! It's true, it makes you stronger, but I don't feel like committing to this job like I use to. I use to see it as a career, now, just a J O B. Everyday is the same thing, I get more work, and they get freedom to handle their personal life at work, and we all get paid the same, same benefits, same everything. Wow...but, I have to do whatever it takes to keep my job, times are critical and I have my family to take care of.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 5 years ago from North America

      What an awesome thing to do! I congratulate you on doing this and think you will make a very keen employer. I've been in the situations you described, but was fortunate in that I stood firm - the bullies and would-be bullies were all terminated. Much success to you and please keep me posted on your progress.

    • profile image

      stunned 5 years ago

      While I can't be specific, the instances above like not mentioning birthdays, giving others special financial treatment and then refusing it to the bullied, giving opportunities to others or supporting their efforts to advance in their careers but not the bullied (instead redirecting them to other work) have all happened in the past to me. I have now gotten stronger and refuse to be a part of any group who does this and will soon own my own company. I will use what has happened as my own example of now not to treat people and how to recognize such actions in others I may manage and instead, to value each person even if they are irritating... Thank you Patty for this hub. Very helpful for all who have responded.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 5 years ago from North America

      Congratulations all around. Documentation is vial, of course. Bullies and abusers try to make the targets feel that they are to blame. It works too many times.

    • profile image

      M Dee 5 years ago

      I too was bullied in my last position and management turned a blind eye. Management would say that it was my personality and that I was also to blame.I was lucky to have one co-worker that believed me and that got me throught the ten years of hell. I like my job but it was always complicated by this insecure person who got other staff on her side to work for her and also bully me. They often don't do anything up front that they could be held accountable for. It was sneaky and secretive. I was a hard worker and was upfront i my opinions. I had to do a lot of m work on myself e.g. workshops in better communication etc to try to just have a conversation with her. I do believe she was a psychopath - very clever and dangerous.I now have another position where everyone is so respectful and honest. My job has no problems staff wise as they are all professional and have confidence themselves. To me this is proof that it was not me to blame. I left a little parting gift though. I was asked to submit my 10 years of evidence in diaries where I wrote a lot of stuff that went on. Now there is an independent inquiry, but I am not involved. HR thanked me for my evidence and assured me there would be a result.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 5 years ago from North America

      To defend yourself:

      1) When you begin a new job, keep a Work Portfolio of what you have learned, projects completed, etc.

      2) Document bullying, rumors, negative comments, etc. in your portfolio. Do not miss one instance. Without documentation, you can do nothing.

      3) Have a meeting with the boss to discuss the bullying. Keep documenting, include the meeting.

      4) If that fails, talk to his supervisor in a meeting. Document.

      5) If that fails go to HR about it. Document.

      6) If that fails, contact an attorney for a free consultation and file an official EEO complaint.

    • profile image

      pininas 5 years ago

      I ,too, am out of work due to a workplace bully. This person teamed up with several other people who went against me at work. My now ex-boss and I had a great relationship until this one person started to work there and turned her against me. I knew this because of a person who worked in another department overheard, on more than one occasion, these people making negative comments about me. My boss then started to believe them, and subsequently fired me. As it turned out, a friend of the bully was hired that same day. My ex-boss called her right in front of everybody, and told her that she got my former position.

      I've been told I should have defended myself. That may be true somewhat. But tell me, how I can when my boss only believes her favorites? (The bullies.)

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 5 years ago from North America

      I hope you are documenting everything. Get a labor attorney, at least for a free consultation. In my state and city, spraying the aerosols and handing you bleach water that all trigger asthmatic attacks are legally assaults (criminal charges) and you could press charges. Ask the attorney and call the police the next time it happens. Also get a note from your doctor about how dangerous those triggers are and that they are triggers. This person is trying to hurt you and will probably hurt the dogs. Take action ASAP.

    • profile image

      tiredworker 5 years ago

      I been trying to handle an abusive co-worker with the only tools I have, patience.For months he has taken things I have said and twisted them to sound like I was being whiny or disrespectful. He was vacuuming under me while I was working on difficult dogs and scaring them, till someone else witnessed it,then he stopped vacuuming around me all together (grateful, I can do my own thank you). He sprays are-sol cans in my direction, knowing that I have asthma and am allergic to it. Yesterday he brought in a bottle of "Awesome" to clean with, but it was bleach water in the bottle and he knows that bleach shuts my lungs down nearly completely. My bosses have never been bosses before and still think like employees. They wont say anything to him. He accused me of taking dogs that were supposed to be his, I do the dogs my boss tells me to do. He accuses me of giving him bad dogs, my boss hands out the dogs, not me. He even trashed me on Facebook, saying the exact opposite of what he was telling the bosses (I don't help him to the bosses, and I don't want your help on fb). Of which I copied the comments and deleted him from my fb. I am supposedly the "manager" but my bosses don't back me up. I don't know what to do.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 5 years ago from North America

      Nancy - File a formal EEO complaint.

      Worthmore - On the next attack, call police and file assault charges. Ask an attorney - in my city, these behaviors qualify as simple assault and carry a fine at least; throwing things and kicking - short jail time.

    • profile image

      Worthmore 5 years ago

      I have been dealing with an abusive work environment for 4 years now. I have followed every protocol known to the Texas public school system. This lady has screamed that she hates me in front of administration, she has yelled at team meetings, she has come and screamed and hollered at my students and me, tossed documents across my desk kicked my classroom door. Came within 5 inches from my face and screamed about how she wishes I would leave the school. I am literally in HELL, I have been at this campus longer than her and I have never had issues with anyone else. I don't know what to do, I feel trapped and alone and scared that one day I am going to snap and react. Thus far after 4 years I have kept a level head about the abuse. I have have had mediations with her with the principal and she has yelled and screamed at me. There has been no write up, no disciplinary action and she doesn't even hold any level of power, she is just on the same grade level and subject so I have to be in close quarters with her at least once a week. Where she yells and screams at me with every opportunity she gets in front of people. No one says a word.

    • profile image

      Nancy 5 years ago

      I have just recently become the victim of workplace bullying, I have filed a police report because it was a physical assault. I was just wondering what other steps I need to take in order to have this matter resolved.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 5 years ago from North America

      Get a free initial consultation with a labor attorney. They can tell you for sure. Good luck!

    • profile image

      constanceanne 5 years ago

      I am having a difficult time defining what is being done to me. Without going in to too much detail, I have a co-worker, who is in a supervisor position, but she is not my supervisor, who I would call a bully, but she isn't directly verbally abusive towards me consistently, however; she makes things very uncomfortable for myself and another co-worker that she does supervise. The most recent thing that she has done is she had a virtual PC program on my computer that I had found and had our IT department remove. It had been installed since April of 2010. Within a week of having it removed she had physically logged on to my computer again. She logged on to it again two weeks after that.

      I have gone to the head of HR and we will be dealing with the situation when we return to work next week. The problem is that our boss won't likely do anything about it. She seems to either protect the "bully" or is afraid to confront her herself. I don't know which?

      The "bully" seems to have a different set of rules than everyone else or doesn't have to follow rules. She comes and goes as she pleases (she is salary, though), wear's inappropriate clothing, makes other employees outside our office upset, and is allowed to make unethical decisions with no consequences.

      There have been at least 2 people who have had this position before me who have left because of the way they were made to feel uncomfortable. I have considered leaving myself several times and then changed my mind and refused to have someone run me out of a job I actually like.

      How do you determine what this "harassment" is called?

    • profile image

      Non-bully 5 years ago

      I just wanted to be left alone during break and off the clock, I did respond to fake conversation. But they kept harassing me with prying interest, then gossipped about what I did to everyone around them. AND THEY WONDER WHY I BECAME THE BULLY. THEY STARTED IT.

      Boy the followed me around, other corporations were in it too. Where I shopped and went, not a coincidence.

    • profile image

      Diana 5 years ago

      I'm out of work because of this situation... my coworker was really sarcastic about anything (calling my work disgusting and referring to me as a lazy worker) I did and was smart enough to disguise it as "joking", I felt stupid and useless, was force to work extra time in things that at the end they didn't use(with no payment), they expected me to be there 24/7, they even called me when I was doing groceries with my daughter on a Sunday morning and of course I got sick, got terrible anxiety episodes, lost like 15 pounds in a month and almost ruined my family relationships. At the end I asked to terminate my contract since the complain I did didn't work. At the end I was left without work, this person stayed at the job and... they decided to ask for new workers pointing out that I don't work in teams and I take things personally, they pay me a sad amount of money and I was left with a horrible bitter experience... on the other hand I have a second job, and I do perfectly fine there, my bosses and coworkers like me and... RESPECT me, and... I've never been accused for not working effectively in a team environment.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 5 years ago from North America

      Follow the usual steps for an EEO complaint, which are outlined in the Hub and comments. Ask for help from the local EEO office and get a free consultation with an attorney.

    • profile image

      Victim #4 5 years ago

      I am currently working for Ann Taylor in San Antonio, Tx. I am not only a witness but a victim. The sad thing is I see the Store Manager bully everybody except her friends who work there. What do I do?

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 5 years ago from North America

      You might also be able to file a Workers Compensation claim if the dirt in the AC is making you ill. That may comprise an unsafe workplace. Check your state WC laws or get a free consultation with an attorney.

      There are cases where the employer will not permit workers to use the restroom all day as well. I have seen those cases go to court.

    • profile image

      More bullies than ever 5 years ago

      I also work for a bully that does not like me to blow my nose due to my allergies and the whole area (constructions/piles of dirt outside) makes it a very very unhealthy place to work (the dirt is in the air and comes into the A/C system). This is nonstop the 8 hrs. of damage to my lungs. Yes, I agree most bullies are protected by the govt. agencies. The only solution is to get a new job but look at the economic situation so it is a daily abuse. I just hope they fired me because I blow my nose and then I will sue the hell of them for medical discrimination.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 5 years ago from North America

      Well, whatever you decide, my best wishes go to you for success in your job and life. You must be a very patient person to hang onto this situation and continue to function.

    • profile image

      rcamarillo 5 years ago from USA

      Thank you Patty for your advice. I actually love my job. My boss is great with benefits ect.... At first, I understood why she just let someone like the bully linger, I thought that it was human of her to try and work something out with problems, like give an oportunity. But its has prolonged and it does affect atleast 5-6 co workers, but, they wont say anything because they do not want to get on our boss bad side. She practically told me the last time to deal with it and fix it, since I am expected more after having a management position. I actually took management classes, communication classes and even offered to forget and start fresh, but that women is very malicious, the moment I did not cover her for being late in the mornings, after lunch and or doing personal business during working hours,...she tripped out again and started to treat me like crap. Honestly, I am going to do something about it. And I can't say here, but I think I know why she still lingers. We all know too much information here, I really can't say. But I think, my boss would lose more money, clients and reputation if certain things came out. Since I am a good worker and have a consience, I am sure my boss knows that I am going to chill and just hang on like usual. But everyone has a limit and I am sick, stress and tension has gotten the best of me. During a pregnancy that affected me so much. Thanks for your time and understanding.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 5 years ago from North America

      You have followed correct protocols and chain-of-command as far as I can tell in this harassment matter, so file a formal complaint with EEO. Get a free consultation from a labor attorney. File charges against the bullies if you need to do so. Ask the attorney if you can file against the company for allowing it to continue.

      US States are beginning to discuss Employment Bully Laws in their legislatures, so more help may be forthcoming, but it will take a while. Then enforcement is another matter.

    • profile image

      rcamarillo 5 years ago from USA

      I am so disgussted, I am currently being bullied by another women at work. I have been bullied for years. For 4 years to be exact, I took many steps, written down everything, talked to supervisers, CEO of company. They have given this women write ups, and still at work. Now it's affecting others and the only thing they do is bring it up on stupid team meetings, how to have work etiquetts ect.... How much longer, what else??? I am looking for another job now, I have been there 8 years and my boss seems to handdle with care when it comes to that b@#*%......I have a big family to support and my boss knows it, it's hard but I am going to have to struggle and get another job so I can improve my health, this has affected me so much. Another employee is fed up and wants to leave now. So sad.

    • profile image

      stopbully2day 5 years ago

      I believe it is important in any workplace bullying situation that there is an established pattern of behavior towards more than one employee. This will add to your credibility when making a claim. Keep notes of the bullying toward you and your co-workers. People talk - get in the habit of being a listener - and keep notes. Don't embelish the notes; facts only. Find out if your employer has a workplace anti-violence policy (do this discreetly) and make a copy of it if you can. Take a look at the US OSHA guidelines for workplace violence. If you are in the healthcare industry, take a look at the Joint Commission's statement on workplace violence. Take a look at the employee retention in your department where the bullying takes place. Spend a few dollars (I know it is hard) and have a talk with an employment attorney just to have your situation on file. Tell your physicians and have this in your medical record. You would be very wise not to share what you are doing with your co-workers because you never know who the mole might be. Your co-workers won't stand up for you because they fear the consequences. If your co-workers have been drawn in by the bully and they are mobbing you, their fear of the bully is greater than their concern for you. How sad. The bright spot is that the resurgence of "healthy workplaces" is on the move. The State of New York implemented this. Do internet research on organizations in and out of your state and consider joining one. Nothing will improve if we sit around and do nothing but complain.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 5 years ago from North America

      I am very sorry to hear this happened to you! Sounds like Lubbock needs more of the good jobs and managers.

    • profile image

      annonymous 5 years ago

      until just recently i worked at a place in Lubbock TX that made bullying look like child's play. bullying is the mainstay of management at the organization. people work in fear of accidentally saying something that might offend anyone whereas management will jump on it a find a way to abuse the individual who is clueless of why (it is obvious they enjoy the high they get from abusing people). the result is constant, childish chaos. they rely on pitting one employee against another to create an atmosphere of suspicion and distrust and then blame to devalue and beat down employees. i finally quit after my blood pressure, anxiety level and digestive system were out of control. you may wonder why i put up with it for years - it is because jobs are hard to find, in lubbock, that pay more than minimal wage.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 5 years ago from North America

      D -Who/what company do you mean? Ads on the page rotate and I cannot see what you are indicating.

      Concerned - Better to lose a job than your life. First it's papers thrown, then a heavy object thrown to the head.

      This will be uncomfortable, but you must file charges to get this to stop. The "Oh, don't make the abuser lose his access to military bases" is an enabling excuse and trying to lay guilt on you. Apologies will be followed by escalation and more abuse. I have found among my client loads that anger management usually does not work with abusers - How about other readers out there - What do you know?

      But, your husband called the police, now file charges. I never hesitated to do so in such situations I found myself in (few, thankfully). This is a hostile and perhaps dangerous workplace and you need to have a free consultation with an attorney and see if you have EEO charges or even Workers Compensation claims. Not righting a dangerous workplace is illegal in some states.

    • profile image

      Concerned Update 5 years ago

      So I have been ignoring the tech and a week ago today he got upset because he got a service call at 2pm - he proceeded to curse and yell and wave his arms at me; finally at my breaking point I told him that I really didn't care. He then threw the 30pages of print he was holding at me; told me to fing find someone else to do the sh** and slammed out the door. I was shocked & scared as now his anger had escalated to violence. I called my spouse who called my boss and the police. Nothing happened...the boss apologized and said he's have the tech apologize when he got back from travel and that if I filed charges the tech would lose his job because he'd no longer have access to the military bases. He said he'd send the tech to anger management...I'm scared of this tech and now am being forced to meet w/him upon his return! I am terrified to do that but don't want to lose my job!

    • profile image

      5 years ago

      Not really sure why this page is sponsored by the most bully tolerant (BT) employer I ever had the misfortune to work for. The place is rife with it, you could get raped in there and it would be your own fault

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 5 years ago from North America

      If it is in the USA and the company is small enough income- and revenue-wise, they do not legally have to make all the ADA changes - specifically those that cost the most money.

      Best advice is to see an attorney for a free consultation.

    • profile image

      Top Secret 5 years ago

      I told someone in HR dept many times that ADA requires that company to provide me a sign language interpreter. They refuse to provide me a sign language interpreter for a year since they think I can hear and understand what people are saying. HELL NO, I was born DEAF! If I plan to file a lawsuit against that company, then they would FIRE me for another reasons (I have two written-ups since a small group of co-workers complained and whined to my supervisor (they are very miserable and jealous since I work very hard). I cannot afford to lose my job if I file a lawsuit against that company. Both company and a small group of co-workers make me very sick mentally. What shud I do? Please email me at topsecret05@gmail.com..

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 5 years ago from North America

      It as in a privately-owned company rather than a govt agency, but a woman in a similar job as yours in my county 15 years ago filed an EEO complaint and charged the man with simple assault by telephone harassment. It worked for her.

    • profile image

      Concerned 5 years ago

      I work in a small govt. contracting service company; there are 3 techs that I schedule. 1 for service and the other 2 for PM service. When the service tech doesn't like his schedule or if he has to work later than 2pm (he starts around 9am) he yells and screams and cusses at me - but only on the telephone; I just hang up on him. He then calls the owner and repeats the process, the owner calls me to make the change the tech wants basically allowing him to act this way. I complain every time this happens but it is brushed off and a joke is made about it. The lady before I was there used to say she required combat pay because of his verbal assaults - but it's made to be a joke. He also curses using extremely fowl language when making in house repairs and when I complained that my customers could hear it on the phone I was told to shut my door. Once he say some parts on the table for him to install and he said to the boss "what the F is this" and only then did the owner tell him to stop with the "F" word. I have also let him know I am allergic to smoke and please don't do it around me - he smokes like a chimney in the garage directly across from my office and if the boss sees my door closed I tell him why and he just opens my door and walks away. The tech has also said negative comments about me to our customers who when they call me they tell me what he says; again no action is taken. I now just ignore him, literally pretend he is not there, I don't speak to him, look at him or acknowledge him in any way - and the boss/owner thinks that is acceptable. I find that I have no options as I have been here 7 years and with this economy there are no jobs at the level/pay I am currently.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 5 years ago from North America

      Thanks for your views!

    • profile image

      anon 5 years ago

      This is a control issues - much of this stems from the economy and that workers can no longer change jobs once they have one. This bullying is a power trip and a sense of entitlement that you somehow owe them more than a good days work being "allowed" to work there. There is a general policy in place to keep workers in their place that is passed down to middle-management and encouraged. If you really want to do something...Join the occupy movement ...give power back to employees and allow them to be in charge of their own destiny - not in the hands of some defunct person who's only sense of purpose comes from feeling they can control someone else and being stuck in a world where we're supposed to keep quiet accept it and allow the abuse. Abuse of power trickles down hill...unfortunately wealth and freedom does not.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 5 years ago from North America

      anonymous - Check in your country for whether there is a workers' advocacy organization that can help you. If not, you may need an attorney.

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      My boss illtreats me. I have been ignored by my boss. I have over 20 years experience. My office is a social service organization. I am a patient; however do not neglect my office work. My boss has curtailed my medical expenses. My boss has given fauls information to the head office abroad; this is my understanding. I am the most senior and I have a lot of work which I do sincerely. She makes maximum use of me. However, I had to wait for over 12 years to get a promotion. Thereafter I did not get any promotions. This year I did not get a salary increase, but my bosses favourite got a salary increase.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 5 years ago from North America

      Cosy - Since it's a lunch situation, I'm pretty sure there's no legal case, because it's not at work. However, it is isolating you from a group of friends, which can be bullying.

      Start of detailed log of the times you have been, and in the future, will be left out at lunch and keep doing so in case bullying carries over onto the work floor. Then you can go to your supervisor, EEOC or attorney with the log and your complaints.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 5 years ago from North America

      Allison! _ I'd be interested in your attorney's advice! I think it's general harassment, no matter who does it. It's certainly creating a hostile work environment. Continue to document all of the harassment the employee does, along with your medical complications from it and eb ready to file with EEOC at your attorney's recommendation. In the meantime, you might call EEOC and find out what the procedure is when an employee harasses a supervisor with false charges.

      Best of relief to you!

    • profile image

      Cosy 5 years ago

      One of my co-workers tries to get on with everyone and makes out he is great even though half of the time he is sitting there doing nothing. He is very opinionated and always thinks he is right if not there are frank views exchanged. Most people seem to get on ok with him but due to treatment of certain junior staff by him i.e. way he talked to them, he just doesn't wash with me and think he knows this as he doesn't try that hard with me like he does with everyone else. We do talk occasionly and its usually friendly face to face. When he walks past my office he wont say morning to me (he will to everyone else in the corridor) unless I say it.

      Anyway I dont know if it is bullying or whether I am being over sensitive. For years we used to go to the pub on a Friday lunch. Emails would go round etc asking who was going. Lately this bod seems to otganise it asking only a select people. He never asks me and it seems I am the only one in the original 'pub gang' not being asked anymore.

      When they all walk past my office to go to lunch no one says that they are going to the pub so whether they think I have been asked and said no I dont know.

      My co worker made a comment one time I met a friend for lunch and invited the others down to the pub. he said that if anyone wants to go to lunch they just come along. I think to myself how can I when I dont know that they are going. I know its still being organised as a colleague was on holiday and first day back being a friday she was asked whether she wanted to go to the pub. I could hear the conversation from my room.

      One rare occasion when someone else organised the pub visit and sent an email round I went along. Another co-worker who sits with this bod then said to me'Oh your coming are you?' as if to say he didn't want me there.

      Is this bullying or am I being too sensitive and just need to realise that maybe my coworkers dont like me any more and I just have to get accept it?

    • profile image

      Allison 5 years ago

      Why should supergiants endure bullying and harassment? Just because we are "in charge" doesn't mean we are not human and we don't have rights. I have a very abusive employer right now who is accusing me falsely of discrimination. She exaggerates and lies. The last year had been hell. I've developed a heart condition, had an abnormal well women's exam, have tension headaches, gained weight and have experienced depression. It had been awful. I get sick of hearing that it is only the manager who does the harassing and bullying. Please help! I have contacted an employment lawyer. Can I go to the EEOC like she did and file a complaint? I'm at my wits end and not sure what to do.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 5 years ago from North America

      The strandard practice used when EEOC fails a client is to go to an employment/labor attorney. Good luck!

    • profile image

      YvonneSmith135 5 years ago

      I worked at a security company for almost three years. Me and the other female co-worker were being bullied by the new supervisor. I filled a complaint against him on June 3rd and was released from my duties on June 21st. My unemployment has been denied twice and is in the appeal process. As it turns out, others have had complaints against the supervisor but the company refuses to do anything about his actions which includes falsifying documents, stealing time, and other infractions that the company had terminated people for. The EEOC told me that although it was unfair, there's nothing that they can do, so...WHAT DO I DO????

    • profile image

      stopthebully2day 5 years ago

      To Linda re the hospital in Chesterfield, MO. All verifications of employment are to go through Human Resources. This is the POLICY. When asked if your manager may be contacted, state no and give an explanation that it is the policy of the hospital that only HR be contacted.

    • profile image

      stopthebully2day 5 years ago

      To Linda from the hospital in Chesterfield, MO. I really wish we could get together in person as I have had no luck with their HR department either. I will be fired shortly because I have gone up against a bully. Co-workers won't come forward because they fear they will be let go. The bully has gone so far as to announce that no one there is their friend, thus pitting co-worker against co-worker. He has told employees to choose between him or me, the docs or him, made gestures to me an others as though he was shooting them or karate chopping them. HR knows this along with other incidents, yet he is still there and I will be gone. I doubt the EEOC will help because the bully just stays one step short of the laws they enforce. You might consider contacting an employment attorney because you were forced to leave. I could use another witness as to how the hospital "does things". Just remember HR is not there to protect YOU. You are easier to replace than a manager as I have been told by a co-worker. You, as I, have become the bad guys and the managers the victims. This is probably how it works at other companies. There are movements in the State of Missouri trying to get an workplace anti-bullying law so you just might want to investigate this. Blessings to all of us who have experienced abuse in the workplace.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 5 years ago from North America

      ramesh - Contact your EEO office and your attorney for instructions.

    • profile image

      ramesh 5 years ago

      i want to resister a court case in my senior employee of my company .she is mentally harassment to me please provide the solition

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image
      Author

      Patty Inglish 5 years ago from North America

      VA Surivovor - I think the union president cannot legally tell you how to make healthcare decisions, but is bullying you for control. To stop him, you must not only completely document what is happening (start now if you have not), but you must go over his head in the chain of command, tell everything, and ask for help. He has you intimidated, which is where he wants you. Break out of it and get it stopped. Even getting no help anywhwere up the chain and quitting s better than being sick and shortening your life. You shouldbe able to contact someone at the VA Administation in Washington DC bbout this as well.

      anthony in ny - Our thoughts are with you!