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Why You Should Say No to an Exit Interview

Updated on May 4, 2017
FlourishAnyway profile image

FlourishAnyway is an Industrial/Organizational Psychologist with applied experience in corporate human resources and consulting.

Exit Interviews: Here's Why You Should Say No

You may see an exit interview as an opportunity to vent about a micromanaging boss, lazy coworkers, or senseless corporate policies.  That's a mistake.  Decline and avoid the risks.
You may see an exit interview as an opportunity to vent about a micromanaging boss, lazy coworkers, or senseless corporate policies. That's a mistake. Decline and avoid the risks. | Source

What Is an Exit Interview?

You're leaving your current employer, and your Human Resources (HR) department requests an exit interview on your way out of the door. Here's what an exit interview is, its real purpose, and why it's generally not a good idea to accept that invitation.

Now that you have announced your plans to leave—because you've resigned, are retiring, or have even been laid off—HR may seek your candid feedback about the organization. They're also soliciting suggestions for change. An exit interview is a request for help in understanding why you're leaving before too many others follow in your footsteps.

Please Spill Your Guts, Then Exit Stage Right

The exit interview is a company's request for information on your experience working at the organization.  It's also a solicitation of your ideas for improving the workplace.
The exit interview is a company's request for information on your experience working at the organization. It's also a solicitation of your ideas for improving the workplace. | Source

Topics Frequently Covered in Exit Interviews

Exit interviews are information-gathering exercises that seem harmless enough. Typical questions include your:

  • reason(s) for leaving
  • new job and level of pay
  • ideas for building a better workplace and
  • opinions about whether you had the resources to do your current job.

Your interviewer will also probably solicit your evaluation of

  • the company's top leadership and strategy
  • your supervisor
  • your work group and the organizational culture
  • pay and benefits
  • training and development and
  • work-life balance.

You may feel honored that HR asks your opinion, but before you make a mistake by agreeing to that exit interview, take a moment to consider your company's true motives and the risks involved with participating.

You better believe HR is writing down what you say in an exit interview.
You better believe HR is writing down what you say in an exit interview. | Source

Reader Poll

What is your approach to exit interviews?

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Although HR advocates the usefulness of exit interviews, for you, there is no genuine upside in participating.  There is only risk.
Although HR advocates the usefulness of exit interviews, for you, there is no genuine upside in participating. There is only risk. | Source

What Advocates of Exit Interviews Will Tell You

Alleged Benefits of Saying Yes to the Exit Interview
... But Here's the Flipside
Fosters goodwill so you can keep the door open in case you want to return to the company later as a "boomerang" employee.
Exiting employees frequently overshare during exit interviews. Or, what they say is perceived the wrong way.
You can provide helpful suggestions on how to improve the workplace.
Why? You're leaving. If the company truly wanted to know, they would ask those who are currently employed then take action based on the results.
Keeps relationships positive with professionals you may see later in your career.
Declining an exit interview isn't rare. Unless you make a jerk of yourself, they're likely to either not recall it or not hold it against you.
Allows you to reach closure regarding leaving.
An exit interview is not therapy. Often, it's not confidential either, regardless of well-intentioned assurances from HR. And again, employees frequently vent and cause damage to themselves.
You can be candid without fear of retribution because you're leaving.
Hold on there. That candor can burn a bridge faster than gasoline and a bucket full of dynamite. You may need a reference or run into these folks again somehow. Besides, most exit interview feedback is simply given a cursory glance and never produces actual change. You just wasted your time and a lot more.
Every rule has exceptions, of course. Examples: if you absolutely love your company and hate that you're leaving, or if you're an intern or coop student hoping to land a full-time job.

Why Companies Conduct Exit Interviews

HR is listening! They're asking you questions and writing down your profound answers. The floor is yours! As you leave, you may be tempted to unload about that incompetent, micromanaging boss, those lazy coworkers who waste work time on social media, and those unbearable corporate policies.

However, before you go shooting yourself in the foot, stop to consider why companies conduct exit interviews. There's a stark contrast between the stated reasons that companies perform exit interviews and the real motives behind them.

Doe-eyed neophytes may profess that agreeing to an exit interview builds goodwill between you and the company, that you'll help improve the workplace with your insights and suggestions, the exit interview process will give you closure on leaving, and as an exiting employee you finally have the freedom to be candid.

The chief motivation for conducting an exit interview is determining whether you intend to sue the company.  All the other stuff is naive and wishful thinking.
The chief motivation for conducting an exit interview is determining whether you intend to sue the company. All the other stuff is naive and wishful thinking. | Source

Oh, no, no. That is simply naive and wishful thinking. In practice, what the exit interview chiefly seeks to determine is your intent to sue the company. That's why a good HR representative

  1. asks the exiting employee whether they have any compliance issues to report and
  2. requests that they review then sign the interview notes.

Some workers do indeed wait until they leave the company to report harassment or some other major policy issue. Although it's a case of better late than never, waiting until an exit interview to report an egregrious problem raises eyebrows regarding potential credibility even as HR is legally compelled to investigate it.

If you make such a major revelation, expect your exit interview to be used by the company in defending itself against your claim. Beyond this type of disclosure, exit interviews often receive just a cursory glance (and perhaps distribution to others in the organization) before being filed away.

Thus, employees who are providing feedback about cranky supervisors, poor work-life balance, and lack of training and development are speaking into a black hole. True organizational change rarely comes from this ineffective HR process, and you've just wasted your time and emotional energy. Besides, if you're like many exiting employees, you probably overshared candid opinions on a variety of subjects and in so doing burned at least one bridge.

Feedback Is a Gift: What's the Point In Giving It Now?

Constructive feedback is an attempt to make an organization stronger and better.  However, you risk your professional reputation by being candid.
Constructive feedback is an attempt to make an organization stronger and better. However, you risk your professional reputation by being candid. | Source

Have You Ever Refused to Do an Exit Interview?

Share Your Experience in the Comments Section Below.

The Downsides of Exit Interviews

Exit interviews often degenerate into at least mild venting sessions even for employees who don't intend for the session to go that way. Remember that HR documents and shares your verbal diarrhea. This is regardless of any well-intentioned assurances about confidentiality or only sharing the information on a "need to know" basis. (The more you "dish," the more there's a need for others to know!)

As a result of your oversharing, you risk tarnishing your professional reputation on your way out as others inevitably learn of your criticisms about them and the company. Sure, you may not need supervisors or coworkers now as references for your new job, but what about the job after that? Will you see them again in your professional life, perhaps in a new capacity? (Good luck mending those relationships!)

Also, consider that a copy of your exit interview will go in your personnel file which is kept for many years after you leave. Although in today's litigious climate, companies often verify employment by just checking dates of employment, job title, and salary, sometimes they do ask questions such as "Would you rehire?" A lengthy exit interview detailing problems with supervisors and coworkers can certainly be perceived as evidence of an attitude problem or trouble getting along with others.

Finally, don't forget that your employer already had ample opportunity to ask you about your feedback before you decided to leave. Why open yourself up to these risks now, particularly with no clear benefit? You don't owe anyone this exit interview. If the organization truly cares about what employees think and feel, it will solicit feedback from those who are staying, then take decisive action based on results.

Be professional as you decline the exit interview, then do your happy dance out the door.
Be professional as you decline the exit interview, then do your happy dance out the door. | Source

How to Decline an Exit Interview

Don't let anyone tell you that exit interviews are mandatory. Unless you have a specific contractual agreement requiring participation, you can decline. (Ask to see a copy.) However, you need to decline professionally and with finesse.

The best case scenario is avoiding the exit interview altogether. Be polite and choose an option that fits you and your situation the best. Here are some ideas:

  • Say that you're slammed with saying your goodbyes, completing a key deliverable or tasks, transitioning work to coworkers, training a replacement, and packing up your workspace. You don't know how all this will get done and you're so sorry but you cannot squeeze this in right now.
  • Say that you've shared all the feedback and ideas you have for the organization and can't think of anything more you have to offer. But thanks anyway for the invitation!
  • Say that you appreciate them reaching out to you, but in the time that you have left you prefer to focus on looking forward rather than backwards. You sure hope they understand.

Be brief. Don't defend or explain further. Use uncomfortable silence if you need to. Repeat your key phrase if you're not being heard. And be sure to say these things with such sticky sweet sincerity that even you almost believe it.

Exit interviews are not mandatory unless it's in an employment contract (ask to see a copy).  The choice to participate is yours.
Exit interviews are not mandatory unless it's in an employment contract (ask to see a copy). The choice to participate is yours. | Source

If You Still Feel Compelled to Do an Exit Interview

I hate offering these choices because you really should decline. However, if the desire to be "nice" has overwhelmed you and you feel compelled to participate in this useless and potentially harmful exercise, minimize your risk with these options:

  • Ask your interviewer to email you their exit interview form because you are so incredibly busy tying up loose ends. Say that you'll return it to them with your written answers. (At least this gives you an opportunity to think twice about the impact of your responses.)
  • Request to schedule the exit interview via phone for a date after you leave. You may or may not get around to returning that call, however, because your new job will have you so busy. You'll also have a more detached, balanced perspective then.
  • Give in and attend the exit interview, but offer vague platitudes.
  • "I'm not sure. I haven't given much thought much about that."
  • "This role isn't the best fit for me right now."
  • "I just feel like my work here at this company is done."
  • "I wanted to explore other opportunities."
  • "I don't feel comfortable divulging my new pay rate. That's private information."

Be calm and professional in your demeanor, and refuse to get sucked in to negativity. Imagine the people you're talking about—executives, coworkers, and supervisors—sitting there listening to your feedback. Burning bridges or even telling white lies doesn't help anyone.

Ultimately, the decision of whether to participate in an exit interview is yours alone, so carefully consider whether you want to invest the time, emotional energy and risk. As you waltz for the door, strive to keep your dignity and reputation in tact. Your new chapter awaits!

© 2017 FlourishAnyway

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    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 11 days ago from USA

      Rajan - It's good to see you again! Yes, they're only concerned with themselves from a legal standpoint.

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 11 days ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      I too believe that one ought to politely refuse a exit interview for the sole reason that they should have asked for reasons before a employee left rather than seeking them after the employee has resigned.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 6 weeks ago from USA

      Kallini - They often have their minds long made up about you and only a significant reaction can shake it up. The important thing is to be happy and not hurt yourself in any way, legally, reputation, emotionally, or otherwise.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 6 weeks ago from USA

      Kallini - I bet you are quite interesting to interview in this way. By the time they're done, I bet they have learned a thing or two.

    • kallini2010 profile image

      kallini2010 6 weeks ago from Toronto, Canada

      I forgot the 2nd (the clever) part:

      ******************************

      But as far as any exit or end goes, yes, it’s the most important part of anything. I have this book “33 Strategies of War” by Robert Greene which I was having been intended to read for a few years now and just recently opened and promptly closed. So, on my way to the shelf... I opened it on the ONLY bookmark and what do you think I chose as the most important chapter to read?

      Know How to End Things (Robert Greene “33 Strategies of War”, Chapter 22)

      “The Exit Strategy”:

      “You are judged in this world by how well you bring things to an end. A messy or incomplete conclusion can reverberate for years to come, ruining your reputation in the process. The art of ending things well is knowing when to stop, never going so far that you exhaust yourself or create bitter enemies that embroil you in conflict in the future. It also entails ending on the right note, with energy and flair. It is not a question of simply winning the war but the way you win it, the way your victory sets you up for the next round. The height of strategic wisdom is to avoid all conflicts and entanglements from which there are no realistic exits.

      Image: The sun. When it finishes its course and sets below the horizon, it leaves behind a brilliant and memorable afterglow. Its return is always desired.

      **************************

      Unless, of course, the sun is so bloody hot, that we wait for it to set and lead a nocturnal life like Bedouins. If one cares to think...

    • kallini2010 profile image

      kallini2010 6 weeks ago from Toronto, Canada

      And after all reasonable came and left and left their reasonable comments... here she comes (I wrote it back when you first published but being indisposed and all)

      *******************

      Hello Flourish:

      This is a very informative hub. I agree with you wholeheartedly, but also know that I can’t keep my mouth shut and HR would be informed about every opinion of mine long before my exodus. In fact, I may be the sole reason why this particular company reconsiders the necessity of exit interviews altogether. Why? I can think of a few reasons such is – it’s possible that every attempt to interview me would result in me interviewing the interviewer and teaching them what to do, how to do, what they should not do unless they have a warrant...

      and then I tried to support you with authority (people who don't admit losing their minds)

      *******************

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 6 weeks ago from USA

      Martie - It may not feel good or fair, but I'm trying to warn folks to expect this type of questioning if they wait. I'm sorry you experienced what you did. Thanks for weighing in.

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 6 weeks ago from South Africa

      "Why did you wait until now to report this?" - I've been asked exactly this. Because I didn't follow procedures, but bottled my grievances until the very end, my claim for compensation was unsuccessful, or rather partly unsuccessful. At the end of the day everything is about money. Beware!

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 6 weeks ago from USA

      Thank you, Peggy!

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 6 weeks ago from USA

      Peggy - Thanks so much for sharing! It's important information that people should know.

    • Peggy W profile image

      Peggy Woods 6 weeks ago from Houston, Texas

      Shared this information on Pinterest on my Do You Know This? board and on Facebook.

    • Peggy W profile image

      Peggy Woods 6 weeks ago from Houston, Texas

      Not that this will ever apply to me at this point in my life but it is important information to know. Will happily share this!

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 7 weeks ago from USA

      Yves - Thank you for your kind words of support. People have a lot of assumptions about HR, its role, and functions of HR processes (e.g., HR is a job mainly for extroverted "people who love people," HR's job is to represent or advocate for employees). Like other employees, HR employees have an obligation to the business' bottom line. Instead of dealing in the ROI of widgets, machinery and real estate, they deal in the ROI of people via labor costs, recruitment costs, etc. One of the biggest ways HR can impact the employment ROI is to reduce risk by averting employment lawsuits. It's a lot nicer, however, to think that the nice HR rep just wants our opinion to make the company a happier place.

    • savvydating profile image

      savvydating 7 weeks ago

      I didn't know any of this at all! I am forever grateful to you for providing this information, Flourish. I would have thought that an exit interview would be a good thing. Now I know to decline once I choose to leave (which may be a number of years from now) Yes indeed, I will keep my lips zipped.

      I didn't realize that HR is only trying to determine if the former employer will sue. Wow! How sneaky can you get? Well, anyway, now we all have a heads up due to this fabulous article you've written!

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 7 weeks ago from USA

      Larry - I appreciate you!

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 7 weeks ago from USA

      Linda - Thank you for your kind words. I've never said "yes" to participating in an exit interview as an employee, but I've conducted many of them. It's just too filled with potential landmines with absolutely no benefit. I did write a brief goodbye email and sent it to people I cared about saying what I liked about working there. What you leave out speaks volumes.

    • Larry Rankin profile image

      Larry Rankin 7 weeks ago from Oklahoma

      I always find your office etiquette articles very informative.

      Great read!

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 7 weeks ago from British Columbia, Canada

      This sounds like excellent advice, Flourish. I've never had an exit interview, but if I'm ever offered one I'll think very carefully about what you've said in this article.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 7 weeks ago from USA

      Bridget F - I'm glad you were able to gain some valuable insights for your career. Thank you for reading.

    • Bridget F profile image

      Bridget F 7 weeks ago from USA

      You have made a number of great points here, many of which I hadn't thought about. As a young professional this information is extremely valuable and something that I am sure I will use in the future.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 7 weeks ago from USA

      Martie - One of the key questions in this situation was "Why did you wait until now to report this?" The employee just doesn't win, unfortunately.

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 7 weeks ago from South Africa

      Exit interviews exist, though rather informal. I believe it is an essential interview. The outgoing employee may draw attention to serious issues that need to be altered.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 7 weeks ago from USA

      MsDora - I've done exit interviews as an HR rep and there were many people who took that approach. Glad you're happy with your decision and where you are in your life right now.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 7 weeks ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Flourish....LOL! "Chatty," the ideal choice of words! "And, oh yes, by the way.....since I'm getting my butt outta here, there's just a few things I'd like to say...................." Ruh-Roh!!!

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 7 weeks ago from The Caribbean

      I remember one exit interview. I still think of it as a benefit for me, more than for the company. The adverse effects you mentioned are good to keep in mind, but I'd do another one if I had to, if even just to let them know that I'm happy with my decision to leave.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 7 weeks ago from USA

      Paula - What terrific experience you have! You rock, girl! I used to do exit interviews as an HR rep and also investigated claims of harassment etc. that people would bring up as parting shots. People become so chatty and reflective when they change companies and end up saying way too much.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 7 weeks ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      FA.....Terrific advice! I hope this is read and taken as gospel truth. The younger, less experienced corporate employees are particularly singled out as ripe for singing like a canary~~very unfortunate issue.

      I smiled through your entire commentary. I was literally corralled at one point to conduct a few exit interviews due to our chief of HR needing to take an emergency leave of absence. Because my own responsibilities were initial interviews of prospective hires, training seminars and Policy Tutorials, I had a major advantage of acquiring intimate personal familiarity of each of our staff members, their personnel records and tri-monthly evaluations. As a result, my exit interviews were custom-created per employee.

      My main intention was to prove to the Big Kahunas, "we" as the interviewers, could pull from each individual, the precise comments & information we wanted. Ouch! How slippery can we get?? Ultimately, my point was well-taken, as the bottom line achieved a painless exit interview for both company and employee. In less than one year, I was able to convince the brass to phase out the ridiculous exit interviews altogether!

      Your information is invaluable!.....Bravo! Paula

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 7 weeks ago from USA

      Catherine - Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. Plenty of people take that approach (or try to). The challenge is not getting sucked in so that you say too much. Have a great weekend.

    • CatherineGiordano profile image

      Catherine Giordano 7 weeks ago from Orlando Florida

      This is all good advice. I'm retired now and I don't think I ever worked for a company that did exit interviews. I think people should go ahead and do one for the "good will," but don't say anything but bland stuff. Just like when on a job interview, when you are asked, "What is you biggest flaw", you say something like, "I'm a perfectionist."

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 7 weeks ago from USA

      purl3agony - It's said that employees generally don't leave companies, they leave supervisors so it's generous of you to have set the record straight. When a supervisor, department, location, or role has too much turnover it's usually red flagged and that manager receives some extra attention. Same thing for turnover among high potential employees and those who are highly expert (highly professional). Thanks for reading and pinning.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 7 weeks ago from USA

      MizBejabbers - I'm sorry about your eyesight as my grandfather suffered from macular degeneration. I hope you have people who can support you through it, especially as it progresses. (Big hug.) I do like your feisty spirit. You've really been through it with that place. Shame on any boss who facilitates or worse yet directs bullying of an employee. I worked in state government for about two years and hated it with a passion. There were some good people but also some real turds. Thanks for reading!

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 7 weeks ago from USA

      Heidi - Maybe "Who Let the Dogs Out," and "Freedom" and "Take This Job and Shove It." haha There really is a playlist for just about every situation! Thanks for taking the time to comment.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 7 weeks ago from USA

      Shyron - They must have really loved you! What a great position to be in!

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 7 weeks ago from USA

      Bill - Me either! Thanks for stopping by!

    • purl3agony profile image

      Donna Herron 7 weeks ago from USA

      Great hub! I think you make some excellent points and I generally agree that exit interviews offer little benefit to any of the participants. I did submit to an exit interview at my last job, because I was afraid my leaving was going to be blamed on my immediate supervisor. I used the exit interview as an opportunity to say what a great boss she was, all the things she had helped me with, and tried to make it clear that my leaving was not her fault. Thanks, pinning to my HR board.

    • MizBejabbers profile image

      MizBejabbers 7 weeks ago

      This is a good article and certainly food for thought as I will have one coming up soon upon my retirement. I have no qualms about saying goodbye as I have no desire to work other than freelancing once I’m retired. I’d never given any thought to the possible detriment of an exit interview. Younger workers should read this and take heed.

      My state government agency has well over 100 workers and it is a revolving door run by micromanagers. However, in my 29 years here, they already know my opinion of them, so I will keep the exit interview nice and grin like a fox. Starting over 10 years ago under the new management, I was bullied and treated horribly by some other newer employees. Then the new director joined in with them instead of asking for my side of the story. I told her that she was too inexperienced to know that a “good” manager always listens to the bullied first and does not join in to browbeat the already bullied, but weighs the options. In my case she was shocked to find that some of the complaints by them were carried out by me under her orders. I kept my job because they knew I had all the documentation for a lawsuit for constructive termination (legal term). I did not apologize or allow her to save face. So I probably have enough black eye material in my file for three people already, and I don’t give a rat’s ruddy arse.

      Our very experienced administrative assistant (working three levels down) told the same director “you don’t have to tell me how to do that, I was a secretary before you were born.” So, I think they already know what we think of them. I promise to play pretty.

      By the way, all of us old retiring employees are begged to come back and help as temporaries during the busy season, and I probably will be asked too (these people are insufferable). So far, several have declined, as I will. Especially since my reason for retiring is that I’m being treated for macular degeneration, and eyesight is critical to my job.

    • heidithorne profile image

      Heidi Thorne 7 weeks ago from Chicago Area

      Oh my! I totally agree that exit interviews are just a way for employers to feel good about themselves and employees to screw up their exit (whether it's positive or negative). Plus, these interviews (interrogations?) are so stressful for all involved. Something to remember if I ever go back to corporate. Is there a playlist for the exit interview? :) Just kidding. Great stuff as always!

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 7 weeks ago from Texas

      Wow! I have always left on a good terms. When I left the company I worked for, for 22 years, I was called by that company for advice and if I was not working somewhere else I was called as a contractor to work in the place of employees who were going on vacation. I loved that company.

      Thank you for the advice, and I will pass on the information.

      Blessings my friend

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 7 weeks ago from Olympia, WA

      Great information! I'm happy to report I'll never again have to use this advice. :) Happy Thursday!

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 7 weeks ago from USA

      Peg - It is important. I've seen it come back and bite people legally when they complained to a government agency or when they tried to file for unemployment and claimed they were fired or quit under duress. The interview is a conversational record of the story they were telling at the time they left. It can make a liar or fool out of them, and it's their own words (and signature). Best to just skip it in most circumstances.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 7 weeks ago from USA

      Kathleen - Most people don't give it another thought. Thanks for reading.

    • PegCole17 profile image

      Peg Cole 7 weeks ago from Dallas, Texas

      This useful advice should be required reading for all college students before graduation and their first corporate placement. The need to share grievances and malcontent about the company you're leaving will never be appreciated or used to improve their policies. You're quite right about the importance of delaying or denying the exit interview. Flaming bridges is exactly the result of sharing in this instance. Great reading on an important topic.

    • Kathleen Cochran profile image

      Kathleen Cochran 7 weeks ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      Interesting take on an issue I have considered just another box I have to check on my way out the door. Certainly another point of view to consider. Thanks

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