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Soon to Be Unemployed

Updated on September 1, 2017

Job Insecurity

It’s Thursday afternoon, but it feels like Monday morning. The day is dragging and I still have another 4 and a half hours until freedom.

I’m bored but there’s nothing I can do about it (unless I want “busy work”). The nature of my work entails 2-3 weeks of chaos followed by a week of quiet before the next cycle begins. (I do various settlements for a power generation company). Normally I’d relish the downtime but with the constant turnover at my work, it puts me on edge and makes me restless. The last thing I want is to appear bored – bored people get “laid off” – but there’s only so many things one can do to look busy and if anyone was monitoring my internet usage (which I doubt they are because our IT department is too understaffed to bother with that) they would see me wasting time on photo projects, shopping, and surveys.

I work fast. I don’t like a long to-do list or things waiting to be completed – I like to knock them all out as fast as possible. I thrive on organization. My team shares an email box and I am constantly on top of it, moving anything I can to respective folders and tackling it. I can multi-task and there’s not much I’m afraid to take on. I have worked for many small companies with responsibilities running the full gamut of departments.

How do you market that though? I have no “focus” – I’ve done a little bit of everything but not a whole lot of any one thing and what’s worse, there is not one particular thing that I want to do – I’m rather open to anything.

When I job search, I think of myself at a certain level. The problem is, the jobs I think I’m qualified for make very little money – less money than someone with a degree and 15+ years of varied professional job experience deserves. But the jobs offering more money seem so intimidating on paper and I rarely feel worthy.

To further complicate things I want flexibility, which I am willing to earn. My current job has spoiled me with the ability to work remotely once a week (perfect so as not to waste an entire day for an hour of dentist or doctor’s appointments, errands, household chores , etc). My current job also allows me to work 8-4 in the summer and then push my hours back to 9-5 in the fall so I can get my kids on the bus.

I started here in August of 2013. It was a tumultuous time – not for the company but for me personally. One of my 3 brothers, the one I got along with the best, had gone missing the previous month and I was the one who stepped up to create a social media page, to speak to reporters, to coordinate search efforts, and just…handle things.

A new full-time job meant pulling my head out of my ass and forcing myself to focus on my job – during working hours anyhow. My new boss was great and I acclimated quickly, so within a short amount of time I could mix a reasonable amount of personal time into my work day and still get everything done that was expected of me (and then some).

Nothing ever came to light with my brother; but that’s a story for another time. Work continued and I became an integral part of my department of 30. Though I’m a bit of an introvert, I felt a comradery with my coworkers and felt at ease.

Shortly before my 2-year tenure, we learned that our company was being “spun off” – our portion of the business was being merged with an outside investment partner to form a new company. We surprisingly embraced this change and worked very diligently to redesign systems and processes. We had pipe dreams of making our company the perfect workplace. Just when the dust was settling (shortly before my 3-year tenure and just as we were truly an independent company relying on only our own systems), we learned that the outside investment partner was buying us outright and taking us private.

It’s been another year, during which we lost ¾ of our work force – some by choice but most not – and it’s hard to stay positive. The company is signing a bunch of agreements that will basically outsource all our work; mine included. The settlements I was responsible for have been reduced by about 90%, starting this month, so I’m not sure where that leaves me. I have a monthly check-in with my boss today and I’m almost afraid to task.

I have been job surfing – so as not to be completely blindsided – and I’ve had a whopping two companies show interest but one hasn’t scheduled an interview yet and the other had me do an online recorded interview. I think I came across horribly in the latter which stinks because it’s a top-rated company in my area where I could surely shine.

I’ve thought about becoming a blogger or vlogger or whatever you’d call them – but I don’t know how they do it. It must be their full-time job because I know for me, I can’t get 5 minutes alone when the kids are home and here these ladies are going live and making all these videos – which granted, can be edited, but I imagine editing is time-consuming and time is not something I have a lot of. When I do have free time I would rather spend it trying to exercise or relaxing in some way (reading, puzzles, games, etc)

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