How to Deal With Telemarketers and Ruin Their Day
We all have our day interrupted by obnoxious telemarketers who call our home number or cell phone. Adding yourself to the “Do Not Call” list doesn’t seem to help much.
I'll tell you how you can fight back when telemarketers disturb you with a few counter-attacks that will humiliate them and maybe even put a damper on their day. Plus, you’ll have fun with it in the process.
When a telemarketer calls, take charge of the conversation yourself. Never give them the opportunity to follow their script. That will confuse them at the least, but will also cause them to waste time. Time is precious for a telemarketer because they need to quickly move on from one call to the next to meet their quota.
Here are a few tricks that will give you some satisfaction that you overpowered these unfortunate individuals who have no concern for your privacy, your time, or your freedom.
As soon as you realize you picked up the phone to a telemarketer, interrupt them with any of the following fun tricks:
Tell Telemarketers They Have to Pay for Calling You
After they finish their spiel, say this:
“Before I speak with you, I need you to agree to a charge of $10 for my time that will be billed automatically to your phone account.”
Most of them will be frightened, not knowing if this is possible, and will just hang up. However, for the few who continue, you can repeat the request for the requirement to accept the charge before continuing.
Just keep repeating the request like a robot. Telemarketers won’t be able to handle that. I assure you.
Force a Telemarketer to Answer Your Questions
Once a telemarketer starts in with their script, instead of responding to whatever question they ask you, turn the situation around immediately by asking them questions.
- Ask, “Do you enjoy your job?”
- Ask, “Do you always meet your quota for the day?”
- Ask, “Does your boss give you breaks between calls?”
- Ask, “Do you get to make personal calls to your friends while working the phones?”
You get the idea. You can come up with questions of your own. Have fun with it.
These telemarking calls are usually recorded so that management can assess the success of each agent, so they won’t want to stay on the line with you once you begin this attack of questions.
Remember never to respond to any of their questions. Reply only with your own questions, ignoring whatever they are saying to you. Be robotic about your approach.
In most cases, you won’t get very far since they will give up quickly. Nevertheless, you’ll still get some satisfaction out of it.
Give Telemarketers a Taste of Their Own Treatment
Wait for them to start, but don’t give them the satisfaction of a reply specific to anything they are saying. After they wasted their time with their initial spiel, do your own version of telemarketing with something similar to this:
“I’m so glad you called! Do I have an opportunity for you! Let me tell you about it. I have a plan that will help you get out of your present demanding job and start enjoying life. Let me tell you about it.”
Keep going on with this. I gave you a start. Improvise the rest yourself. You can do this.
The important thing is to keep going. Do not ask questions and stop. That will only give the telemarketer a chance to say something. That’s not what you want. You don’t ever want to give up control.
In most cases, you won’t need to keep going very long. They will quickly hang up. But again, you will feel satisfied.
5 Ways to Annoy Telemarketers
Always Maintain Control of the Conversation With a Telemarketer
Never answer their questions. You will have given up control.
Never say the word “yes” or “okay.” Avoid any affirmative statements. They record these calls and splice your affirmative answers from the conversation to use as proof that you agreed to something, ordered something, or accepted a contractual offer.
Always maintain control of the conversation yourself. Never give a telemarketer a chance to get anything of value from the conversation. That will destroy their confidence in their ability to do their job.
You may find these types of calls stop happening after a while. Some telemarketers sell hot phone numbers to other telemarketing firms—numbers that had successful results or at least a person who responds well to their script. When they have an experience like the examples I’ve described above, they will just want to get rid of your number. It’s not worth anything to them. Not even to sell to another telemarketer.
Of course, you could always hang up or not answer when you see an unrecognized Caller ID. But that wouldn’t be any fun, would it?
© 2019 Glenn Stok