If my tolerance for others has become extremely low due to me being bullied and abused by others (in school and in public), then how can I stop seeing everyone as black (black and white thinking) and show more respect?

Answer

I am sorry to hear that you have been subjected to bullying and abuse from others. As a victim of abuse, you probably spend a lot of time analyzing and re-running in your mind abusive conversations and incidences? That is such a shame as it robs you of time that you could be spending on more joyful thoughts and activities and developing relationships with healthy people who are loving and kind. Life is too short to put up with bullies. In my experience, most people in the world are ok, with only a small minority of people who are genuinely psychologically ill, and need a lot of help, or others who only know how to be abusive towards others to gain a sense of self esteem / a feeling of superiority / sense of power over others.

People are like food, some are good for you, and add joy and support to your life. Others are like junk food, and are bad for your health, mentally, physically and emotionally. They have a lot of their own issues and won't change their behavior unless they work on themselves. Don't take how they treat you personally. If you stand back and watch them, you will notice that they treat other people in an abusive way too. I have encountered many bullies in my life and they are not happy people, they often had abusive parents and do not know how to operate in a healthy way. Rather than showing respect, you could try compassion, knowing that they are not happy. Part of the healing journey is learning to forgive them. Forgiveness is good for your own benefit and internal emotional health, otherwise, feelings of hatred and thoughts of revenge may fester inside you and that is not healthy for you. If you are full of hate you are still suffering. Let go, get on with your life, avoid these toxic people if you can, if you can't, learn assertiveness and make it clear that you will not put up with their abusive behaviour. In the past I have confronted abusive people and whilst initially they aren't happy, their behaviour towards me does change. In other instances some abusive person deny their behaviour and I decided to end those relationships. Life is too short.

Bullying is not about you, the bully is coming from a bad place and is angry at everything and is taking it out on you. It is not about you.

Updated on September 30, 2019

Original Article:

By rontlog
working

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