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20 Reasons Not to Move to Florida

Updated on May 31, 2016
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Catherine Giordano is a public speaker and writer known for her inspirational essays and articles.

Everyone wants to live in Florida.

According to the 2014 Census projections, Florida is now the third most populous state in the nation putting it ahead of New York, but still behind California and Texas. Currently, about 19.9 million people live in the Sunshine state, and the growth rate of 2.7% is above the national average. Most of the population increase is due to people moving to Florida from other states.

Florida, The Sunshine State

Sure Florida has sunshine, but it has a lot of drawbacks too.
Sure Florida has sunshine, but it has a lot of drawbacks too. | Source

Are you thinking of moving to Florida? Think again. It’s not all sunshine, seashore, and smiles. Here are 20 reasons not to move to Florida.

1. There are too many old people living in Florida.

There are a lot of old people in Florida and they drive too darn slow. With their blinkers on. I know because I’m one of them. You can’t blame the old people too much. Hearing and vision are not as good as they used to be. You can’t blame them, but you have to share the road with them.

Most of Florida’s growth is due to retirees moving to the state, so this problem is going to get worse.

2. Too many tourists come to Florida.

Last year about 95 million people visited Florida. That’s a lot of people. They clog the airports and roads. In Orlando, for instance, where I live, the roads near the theme parks are bumper to bumper pretty much all day.

Being forced to drive at 5 mph will give you plenty of time to enjoy the sights--the tacky and garish souvenir shops and fast-food eateries that line the tourist strip. Inside the parks, everything is shiny and new and clean—a fantasy land. Outside the parks—not so much.

A cruise ship in Key West

Florida has too many tourists.
Florida has too many tourists. | Source

3. Traffic is terrible in Florida.

In Central Florida where I live, the main highway is I-4. It goes from Daytona Beach on the East Coast, thru Orlando, and ends in Tampa on the West Coast. It is the main road to the theme parks. Traffic is very congested, and when there is an accident (and there are plenty), traffic can come to a standstill for hours.

Traffic will be even worse as I-4 undergoes a major renovation to add additional lanes. The renovation will take six years (2015-2021).

I hear I-95, around the Miami area, is just as bad.

4. George Zimmerman lives in Florida and he still has his gun.

George Zimmerman, who killed an unarmed teenager (Trayvon Martin) and was found not guilty, is not the only trigger-happy fool in Florida. Two other notorious recent cases come to mind. Curtis Reeves shot and killed an unarmed young father in a movie theater because he was texting during the previews (trial is pending) and Michael Dunn shot into a van full of teenagers, killing one of them, because they were playing their music too loud. (Dunn got a life sentence so you will be safe from him at least.) Florida has a “stand-your ground” law which some people interpret as a license to kill.

Florida is NRA territory. Road-rage shootings are so common that the media doesn’t even bother to report on them anymore. Florida has gun ranges where young children can shoot automatic weapons. Recently a person was killed when a nine-year old girl was firing a UZI and lost control of the gun. (Give an UZI to a nine-year old—what could go wrong?)

In Florida, we routinely hear about someone killed by a bullet shot into the air in celebration of something or other or someone shot by a stray bullet in their own backyard fired by someone doing a little target practice down the road someplace.

In some ways, Florida has earned it's nickname, Flori-duh.
In some ways, Florida has earned it's nickname, Flori-duh. | Source

5. The people of Florida elected Rick Scott governor.

The people of Florida elected Rick Scott governor. What you have to understand about Rick Scott is that before he ran for governor (and got elected-- twice), he was CEO of Columbia/HCA. The company presided over the biggest Medicare fraud in history and the company had to pay a $1.7 billion fine. Rick Scott claimed he didn’t know anything about this fraud, but he had to plead the fifth about 75 times during the investigation.

If Rick Scott was CEO and didn’t know this massive fraud was going on right under his nose, he is a really poor manager. If he did know, he is a really bad criminal. Either way, is he the kind of person you would want running your state? The people of Florida said “Yes.” Do you want these people who have such poor judgment to be your neighbors?

6. Florida is hot!

I realize people are coming to Florida in search of a warm climate. But Florida is really, really, hot. And the humidity is high. There are only two seasons in Florida--summer and August. And August lasts about 150 days.

If you like a 90 degree heat wave in December, then you will like Florida.

7. The roaches are huge.

Roaches like the hot weather just as much as humans do. They grow really, really large—about as big as your fist. OK, not that big—maybe as big as a baby’s fist, and that is still pretty big.

If you move to Florida, the first thing you need to do is sign up with a pest control company. They will come to your home on a regular basis and treat for “pests.” Fortunately, these days the pest control companies use “chemical barriers” that they apply to the outside of your home. They are not 100% effective, but when they fail, the pest control company will provide additional treatments at no additional cost. (At least my company does; be sure that the one you hire does.)

Lots of sharks

8. Sharknado would probably happen in Florida.

Volusia County in Florida is the shark-bite capital of the world. Lots of people in the water, lots of the type of fish sharks like to eat, and lots of sharks mean lots of shark bites. The sharks often swim in close to shore. Still it is only 20 to 30 attacks per year and most are not fatal. So far, no tornado-borne sharks. So come on in, the water is fine.

When bears attack

9. You might find a bear in your garage.

Developers rule in Florida. What developers want, developers get. What developers want is more sub-divisions. As the population of Florida grows, the number of sub-divisions increases and the habitat for wildlife decreases. Homes get built too close to the bears' habitats. Hungry bears go looking for food. People put their garbage out in unsecured trash cans. This is like putting out an “all-you-can-eat-buffet” sign for the bears. These animals are big and strong. They can break into your garage or patio.

Alligators take a dip

10. You might find an alligator in your pool.

There are over a million wild alligators in Florida. These reptiles prefer freshwater habitats like swamps and marshes. They can also be found in rivers and lakes and other small bodies of water, like your swimming pool or retention ponds. (A retention pond is a small pond built to catch excess rainwater runoff.) If you live near alligator habitat, you may just find an alligator taking a dip in your pool.

Snakes on a patio

11. You might find a python in your backyard.

Pythons are an invasive species in Florida, so they have no natural predators.

Every year, there is the Great Burmese Python Hunt for hunters to go out and kill pythons. If you bring back the largest one, you win a cash prize.

Happy Hunting!

12: Florida has hurricanes.

Hurricane season lasts from June 1 to November 30, although every now and then a hurricane hits earlier or later. Fortunately, the hurricanes have been passing Florida by for quite a few years now.

I survived the hurricane season of 2004 when four major hurricanes hit—three of them where I live. The first and the worst was Hurricane Charlie with winds up to 150 miles an hour. I had some relatively minor damage to my house, but the worse thing was no electricity for a week. The first few days, it was kind of fun—like a camping trip—but it gets old fast.

Maybe, I shouldn’t even mention the hurricanes—everyplace has natural disasters. The North has blizzards, and I’d much rather mop up water than shovel snow. The West has earthquakes, and I don’t much like the idea of the earth opening up.

The earth opens up

13.The earth opens up in Florida. It is called a sinkhole.

The earth opening up? That happens pretty often in Florida. It is called a sinkhole. A hole suddenly opens up in the ground. It can swallow a car, or a house, or even a whole neighborhood.

A sink hole occurs because of the Florida Aquifer. It is the source of much of Florida’s drinking water. The ground beneath Florida is composed of porous limestone which is a natural cache for rainwater. When the water level gets too low, the ground can cave in forming a sinkhole. As the population of Florida grows, too much water is being taken from the Aquifer. This means more sinkholes.

A mighty wind

14. Florida has tornadoes.

Florida has more tornadoes per square mile than any other state.

However, to be fair, the tornadoes in Florida are not usually as bad as those in the Mid-west.

On the other hand, five times more people die from a tornado in Florida than in Kansas.

15. Florida is the lightning capital of the United States.

Sea breezes from the east and west coast meet in the middle of the state and cause severe thunder storms during the summer months. Thunderstorms, which occur, on average, 100 times a year, are often accompanied by lightning.

Lightning lights up the sky.

Florida is the lightning capital of the nation.
Florida is the lightning capital of the nation. | Source

16. Florida is flat.

The highest elevation in Florida is 345 feet. It is called "Britton Hill.” In comparison, the Empire State Building in New York is 1,454 feet high (including the spire).

17. Florida can’t run a national election right.

In 2000 election, Florida earned the nickname, "Flori-duh,” because of the Bush-Gore presidential election recount. Twelve years later, Florida still has election problems. In 2012, some people had to stand in line for 7 to 8 hours in order to vote.

18. Florida is not pedestrian friendly.

Pedestrian deaths are significantly higher in Florida than the national average. There are many roads without traffic lights, but even when there are lights, there are often long stretches between lights. This leads to people trying to cross six lanes of traffic in the middle of the street.

Although pedestrians in Florida have the right of way, drivers don’t like to yield. If you stop for a pedestrian, the cars behind you will probably start honking their horns. Please stop anyway.

19. Many Florida public schools are not very good.

The failures of the public schools are not due to bad teachers as recent governors (Jeb Bush and Rick Scott) would have you believe. It is due to low funding and a deliberate attempt to undermine the schools.

I don’t have the space to go into all the details here. Learn more at Fund Education Now, a non-partisan parent-led organization.

School starts in the middle of August. Everyone knows school is not supposed to start until after Labor Day.

20. Florida’s government is rife with corruption.

Oh wait a moment; it’s not just Florida, although Florida under former governorJeb Bush and current governor Rick Scott may be among the worst.

It's not all bad.

Florida  is famous for its beautiful beaches.
Florida is famous for its beautiful beaches. | Source

It's not all bad.

Florida has a lot to offer--the warm climate, natural beauty, theme parks, resorts, and no state income tax. Orlando, where I live, is an up and coming cosmopolitan region—good colleges, a thriving arts community, great museums, and fine restaurants. We even have a shiny new commuter rail line called Sun-Rail which may help with traffic congestion on I-4.

It’s why so many people want to live in Florida. It's why I'm glad I moved to Florida in 1995.

If You are Thinking of Moving to Florida...

The Florida Move Guide: The Unofficial Moving to Florida Warning, Decision and Help Guide
The Florida Move Guide: The Unofficial Moving to Florida Warning, Decision and Help Guide

The author of this book, Ron Stark, is a Florida real estate agent and is, himself, a "transplant" to Florida. He has helped many people make the move to Florida, and also helped many others sell their Florida homes when they decided to move back home. His clients have given him a good understanding of the issues that you should consider when deciding if this move is right for you. He heprovides an honest look at both the pros and cons of living in Florida. I'm glad I moved to Florida over 20 years ago, but I wish I had read this book before I moved--I think I would have made different decisions about where to live, what type of house to buy, etc. His most important tip: Don't decide to move to Florida based on your experience as a vacationer in the state.

 

Just for fun

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© 2015 Catherine Giordano

I welcome your comments.

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    • CatherineGiordano profile image
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      Catherine Giordano 13 days ago from Orlando Florida

      Erin: Everyone's situation is different. You have to weight the plus and minue. If you want to stay in Florida, but don't live condos you can buy a house. I hope it all works out for you.

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      Erin 13 days ago

      My husband and I are thinking of moving to PA from Florida. We will be closer to family and Florida has lots of crime in West Palm Beach. We live in a condo and we are sick of assessments and all the rules. Are kids live in Stamford and Queens however we can't move there because my husbands pention will be taxed. I'm wondering if we are doing the right thing.

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      Catherine Giordano 5 weeks ago from Orlando Florida

      Jay: It was written tongue-in-cheek--a bit of truth is what make it funny.

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      Jay 5 weeks ago

      Hahaha! This is all true!

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      Catherine Giordano 7 weeks ago from Orlando Florida

      Lilly: Thanks for your comment. I guess you misssed the part where I said I love living in Florida. The article was written tongue -in-cheek- I guess you missed that too.

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      Lilly 7 weeks ago

      Are you kidding me

      I moved to Florida 2004 i love it

      I am actualy wondering how people can live in other states , i have visited many many US states and Florida is tye best state to live in

      Trafick is more bussy because everyone wants to live here ,beautiful state I am never moving anywhere else . I moved here in my late 20 and i am now 42

      I can writte a whole article if I had the time but I am to busy enjoing my Florida

      Welcome to Paradise

      Since you hate it so much why are you still here

    • CatherineGiordano profile image
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      Catherine Giordano 3 months ago from Orlando Florida

      Credence2: Hello neighbor. I once lived in rural Hawaii, over 50 years ago when I was a child. I now live in Orlando. It is pretty citified. I came to Florida from New York. We are highly evolved in New York also. I am glad to hear that you like Florida. I like it here too.

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      Credence2 3 months ago

      Hi Catherine, thanks for the great article.

      We live in the Palm Bay, Malabar area and a lot of the concerned that one would associate with dense urban living do not apply here. We have raccoons and deer sightings on occasion.

      I like your politics, being from Colorado, we consider ourselves a bit more evolved.

      We lived in Hawaii for 3 years and it would be an interesting contrast to compare life in the rural Hawaii where we lived with life in rural Florida, where we live now.

      And yes, there are too many 'old people'. It is not as much fun to go to the market and not see and enjoy all the frilly skirts going by.

      Nice to have you as a neighbor...

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      Catherine Giordano 4 months ago from Orlando Florida

      eee: I can't disagree, but many of the old people in Florida are nice, we don't have ice and sleet in the winter, and there are jobs (although many don't pay very well). Lighten-up a little. Were you unable to find a job in Florida? Were looking for a job shoveling snow?

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      eee 5 months ago

      miserable old people, humid summers and no jobs.

    • CatherineGiordano profile image
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      Catherine Giordano 5 months ago from Orlando Florida

      Florida does not have a state tax. It is one reason people like to move here. It was part of my decision to move to Florida.

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      Timothy Andrews 5 months ago

      One of the reason's for the influx of north easterners to Florida is Liberal Democrats like Andy Cuomo here in New York. We're one of the highest taxed and regulated states in the country. The Republican led state of Florida is an incentive for me to move there.

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      Catherine Giordano 6 months ago from Orlando Florida

      Drew: I don't doubt that Oklahoma has more tornadoes and worse tornadoes than Oklahoma. The article states that Florida has more tornadoes "PER SQUARE MILE." Florida is a big state. P.S.: I love living in Florida. I guess you stopped reading before you got to the last paragraph.

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      Drew 6 months ago

      Uh I'm from Oklahoma, and I know for a fact that that Florida does not have more tornadoes than we do. Last year, we had 14 in one day near the Tulsa area. And if you want to experience humidity without wind, Oklahoma is the place! Sounds like this person hates living there and needs to move.

    • CatherineGiordano profile image
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      Catherine Giordano 7 months ago from Orlando Florida

      You may not have noticed that I DO live in Florida. This essay was written tongue-in-cheek. It was meant to be humorous, but everything I said is true. Sometimes, there is trouble in Paradise.

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      florida penguin 7 months ago

      REALLY??? You prefer NOT to live in a paradise ? Florida is excellent....

    • CatherineGiordano profile image
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      Catherine Giordano 7 months ago from Orlando Florida

      Truth be told, Florida has both good and bad. I am not familiar with the crime statistics you refer to, but you are right that Florida is not pedestrian-friendly. Your advice to rent a home for a yer before moving to Florida is very good advice. Many new residents move here without knowing the facts. They think it will be like a permanent vacation.

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      richard 7 months ago

      you are all correct. florida has the best of everything and the worst of everything.but it is easier to drown or get ran over walking or as a pedestrian or on a motorcycle or in a vehicle .crime is worst than the statistics reveal do not want to scare away the tourist.you will miss your family friends and just the way things are done where you are from.there is a 50 -50 chance you will or will not like it here.rent your old home out for one year and then rent in florida for one year you will know before the year is up.

    • CatherineGiordano profile image
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      Catherine Giordano 7 months ago from Orlando Florida

      empirefallsw: If you like hot and humid weather, you will love Florida. In my article about Florida, I exaggerated some things for the purpose of humor. I'm sure not everyone has cockroaches. I suggest you consult with someone who is an expert. Your real estate agent might be able to help. I have a pest control company. These days, the treatment is done outside of the house to create a barrier; they don't spray inside. I rarely see a bug in the house; maybe just a few times a year.

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      empirefalls 7 months ago

      I live in the cold Northeast. Having COPD, My blood oxygen is consistently at 92[normal is 97].

      In Warm weather, even humid hot hot conditions, my blood oxygen starts hitting in the 96-97 range. I breathe better in hot, humid weather--defying what one would think with COPD.

      That is what appeals to me to move to Florida; hot,hot,humid,humid conditions. Also, the fresh ,clean air [or less polluted air that the rest of the US]

      But about bugs and cockroaches in Florida. So its practically impossible to live in a Florida home without cockroaches? Even an occasional one in a house, cant tolerate without a health affect.

    • CatherineGiordano profile image
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      Catherine Giordano 8 months ago from Orlando Florida

      Heather: I think I should clarify that calling this article "satire" does not mean that the statements in the essay are not true; it means that some things may be exaggerated to make a point or to inject humor into an otherwise serious statement.

      I'm sorry I could not print your comment, but there were too many mistakes in spelling, grammar, and English usage. Despite that I got the gist of your comment--you don't like Florida.

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      Catherine Giordano 8 months ago from Orlando Florida

      Camila: First of all, this was written tongue in cheek. Some things are exaggerated. That said, there are tornadoes in Florida, there are sharks in the waters, and most of Florida is barely above sea level. I included video from TV news clips attesting to the first two. As for the flatness, if you call 345 feet a mountain, then I stand corrected. I didn't say tornadoes and shark attacks were daily occurrences, but they do happen here in Florida.

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      Camila 8 months ago

      Um. Excuse me, but there are barely ANY tornadoes here in Florida. We do not have a lot of storms here, so there aren't lots of lightning. "Florida is flat." ,SERIOUSLY? Florida has hills and mountains in different parts of the cities. The shark one, I have been to the shore in Florida EVERYWHERE but Fort Myers. THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A SHARK. I am sure Florida is a great place.

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      Catherine Giordano 8 months ago from Orlando Florida

      Sarah: I loved your comment.

      Talking about scenery--I miss the fall colors. Now I enjoy them online. I found it easy to make friends here. If old friends move away, make new friends. The people who lost their old friends are looking for new people to be friends with.

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      Sarah 8 months ago

      Funny Article yet right on. I moved to Orlando in 2008 and called up my movers 4 years later to move me right back to Massachusetts. My number one reason was lack of scenery. The beaches are nice but Florida is so flat, and pretty boring visually. Also there are many transients so it is hard to make/keep friends. Quick plug for the movers who gave me half off the move back to Mass - monstermovers.com

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      Mr Duran 9 months ago

      We moved here in 1989. We have seen how it has grown to sleepy town to boom times. I disagree with your politics obviously, we were delighted to have successive Republican governors from Jeb to Scott. Yes even Charlie Crist. No never like the public school systems, but it also depends on where you live. We do believe that government should get out of education and leave it to the private sector. Other wise politics wise the article is still well received even after all this time. MAGA !

    • CatherineGiordano profile image
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      Catherine Giordano 9 months ago from Orlando Florida

      retmosny: Thanks for presenting the other side of the story. As you probably noticed, I was writing tongue in cheek. I too had my own business and earned a good living. (P.S. I usually charged a flat fee that came out to about $125 per hour.) I've lived here for nearly 25 years, and I have no intention of leaving. So as you can see, I probably like it here. That being said, I think people who are planning a move should know what some of the negatives are. I think they already know the positives--sunny climate, beautiful natural environment (like beaches), a friendly melting-pot of people, etc.

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      retmosny 9 months ago

      Former NewYorker, living in S. FL for last 14 yrs. No regrets! Low paying "regular jobs", yes however if you have a degree and or "professional experiences" , like law enforcement background, you have a higher chance of being compensated nicely.

      Its a also a state where entrepreneurship is high and you have a higher chance of success. I personally have my own biz and charge a minimum of $80 P/H and thanks to the blessings of above, I will enjoy my 10 yr anniversary in 2017.

      So with that said, you can make it down here as long as you think "out of the box". I love the S. FL area because of the diversity, nightlife and within 25 mins, I am swimming in crystal waters!

    • CatherineGiordano profile image
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      Catherine Giordano 9 months ago from Orlando Florida

      Petunia: I had to scroll up to the first comment to see who you were talking to. Yes, Lovelights missed the joke, but I have no hard feelings. Everyone can have their own opinion. I'm glad you liked this article.

    • CatherineGiordano profile image
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      Catherine Giordano 9 months ago from Orlando Florida

      Daniel Sutin: I lived in NYC all my life. I had just the opposite experience compared to you. I found I liked the "small town" feel of Orlando. You need to find groups to belong to, but once you do, you always have friends and things to do. Orlando has lots of cultural events and they are often free and always less costly than in New York. I guess it depends just where in Florida you live. I choose Orlando because I like city life. But your comment makes a good point. You need to know what you are getting before you move. There are so many things that you don't even know to ask. You are probably not going to sit on the beach as much as you think you will. Living in Florida is not the same as vacationing in Florida.

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      petunia 9 months ago

      Lovelights or whatever, you sound like a miserable nasty person who cannot realize the humor of this entertaining article (taking it a little personal?). Maybe one day you will find yourself in one of those sinkholes!

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      Daniel Sutin 9 months ago

      Do not move to Florida !

      My wife and I moved two years ago , we thought better life. But the people unfriendly and quite honestly low intelligence. No culture comparing to Chicago or New York ! Nothing to do if you are by yourself since my wife travels so much . In New Uork can always find things to do . I think you die a intellectual death which is worst than paying high taxes ! I discovered despite the problems of big cities I liked being with the big boys even not having alot of money . What can compare Chicago or New York no where ! Come for a week or so to see if you really like it ! I live where sometimes do not see people I mean it seems everyone runs to Florida to hide but every apartment knows where you are !

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      Trish DeCicco 10 months ago

      Some people don't know how to have fun. I loved your article! Thanks for sharing:)

    • CatherineGiordano profile image
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      Catherine Giordano 10 months ago from Orlando Florida

      Liz: I don't know anything about Greenville SC. I hope you are happy with your move.

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      Liz 10 months ago

      I've lived in Fla for 24 yrs. And for no special reason plan to relocate to Greenville SC area. Any comments about Greenville?

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      Catherine Giordano 10 months ago from Orlando Florida

      Old Snow: I get it. You really hate Florida. I used to have those $400 a month electric bills too. I moved to a smaller house. Also I no longer have a pool. (The pool filter uses a lot of electricity.)

      I hope you can hold out for those 7 1/2 years. In the meantime, try to enjoy some of what Florida has to offer. There are good things too.

    • Old Snow profile image

      Old Snow 10 months ago

      I'm just counting the months until I leave this God forsaken pile of dung they call the "Sunshine State" The only reason I'm here is this is where my wife's job took her. After she followed me around for 15 years while I was in the U.S. Army I figured I owed her that much. I just outright HATE the weather. I could care less about Hurricanes or the bugs. The fact that it's October 7th and still close to 90 degrees is BS. Nothing like a monthly $300 TO $400 electric bill just to keep the house at a bearable temperature even in the December to March time frame. I hate that there are no seasons. I hate palm trees and miss good old fashion real trees like Maple, Oak, Walnut, & Locust as well as REAL fruit trees like apple, pear, & cherry. I miss the autumn foliage, the crisp late fall to early spring mornings and the warmth of a real wood fire place. I've been station in place with worse weather (Vietnam) and Texas is close to Florida for heat and humidity but at least it gets cold in some of the winter months and they do get snow every once in awhile. If you want to see some bad mosquitoes go to Alaska (believe it or not). My wife retires in 7 years and 4 months so in 7 years our home here in Florida hits the market and I'll be buying our retirement home in Upstate NY.

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      Catherine Giordano 10 months ago from Orlando Florida

      Angie: I too miss the changing seasons sometime. But then I think of my freezing toes and fingers during New York winters and I think Florida sunshine is a good trade-off.

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      Catherine Giordano 10 months ago from Orlando Florida

      Swamp: I live in Orlando. I expect my home to be beach front property in the not too distant future. Seriously, Living in Florida is not too bad, but I am becoming a little concerned about the Zika mosquitoes. I don't expect to be pregnant, but I have recently heard that the virus can cause Alzheimer's.

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      Swamp 10 months ago

      No, no satire. There are much much better places to live. Florida should never ever had been populated. We are ruining the environment. Also, if the melting continues, we all will be paying for flood control. Nope, Florida is a sand bar, a swamp and it should have stayed with the gators and mosquitoes. It is hot, it's muggy, sticky and miserable.

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      Angie 10 months ago

      I agree with all of these. I lived in Pasco and Hernando counties 20 yrs ago, moved away and, unfortunately. found myself having to move back a few months ago because my husband got transferred here for his job. Let me say, I am really hating his job right now. I absolutely hated FL when I was here before and my feelings really havent changed. Let's not forget to add that I find the humidity deplorable! I never had migraines until we moved here. They are so severe that I have passed out from the pain. For all that would rather clean up water, as opposed to shoveling snow, have at it. I'd put up with the snow just to have a gorgeous fall filled with leaves of golds, oranges, reds, and purples. Ill take my crisp dry fall morning and evening strolls, enjoying the hues of the season, going for hayrides, pumpkin picking, and to the apple orchards for not just apples but fresh, hot apple cider, but fresh,hot, apple donuts made to order. I'll take a football or softball game thrown together by friends and neighbors on a 65 degree afternoon, a bike ride on a brisk morning to enjoy the sites, and summers bountiful harvests. I will gladly take that beautiful fallen snow to begin my winter, that ultimately completes my Christmas. Maybe I need to become springtime snowbird LOL At least I could come down for the Strawberry Fest in Plant City, go to the beach and take myself back home where my heart truly belongs. This Hoosier girl grew up an hour from Chi-town and can't wait to get out of this hellacious state, that I imagine, will one day end up breaking off right through the mid central region of the state near Gainesville/Ocala, which is where we are, and we'll end up floating out to sea somewhere. LOL NO THANKS :-P

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      Catherine Giordano 10 months ago from Orlando Florida

      HopeTo BeBack: Despite all the reasons I give for not living in Florida, I very much like living here. I'll take heat over cold and hurricanes over blizzards. (It's easier to mop up than to shovel snow.) Central Florida has been really lucky. No hurricanes after 2004. I might have to update this piece. In today's newspaper I saw news about a radioactive sinkhole. That's a new one--a sinkhole filled with toxic waste just 60 miles from Orlando.

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      HopeToBeBack 10 months ago

      I am born and raised in Pennsylvania, lived in South Carolina when I was younger and also lived in Florida, West Palm Beach not too long ago and have done extended stays out west. Your story gives a good, and funny if anyone has ever lived in Florida, outlook of the good and bad. Living in West Palm we at least had an almost constant breeze so it helped with the heat, have some friends who live in Orlando and my first trip there after driving up in the ac and opening the car door....wow! Lol! The humidity is dominant there, but I like the heat. They live near Disney and I completely agree about the traffic, as a joke they sent me to the store for something which should be a 10 minute drive, I get a text asking if I'm on my way back yet, 40 minutes later. They thought it was funny, lol. Miami is just as bad, trust me, just not all the time, typically in the mornings, the afternoons (lunch time) and in the early evenings when people are leaving work. But I loved Florida, you meet people from all over the world, literally, not everyone is friendly, the saying I heard the most is "The further south you go in Florida the more rude people get", it is true to some extent. I have been back in Pennsylvania for too long in my opinion, I had to leave Florida when the economy went bust. I've experienced 8 hurricanes in my life, 2 bad ones, and I still say I'd take a hurricane over snow, ice and cold any day! You get used to the heat in Florida, at first you are soaked with sweat walking from the house to your car, lol, after a couple summers you're used to it. There a LOT of people in Florida, your neighbors are usually never more than 10 feet away, lol, privacy is obtained when you are at home with the blinds closed, lol. The point of my story is, not everyone is cut out for Florida living, but if you're like me, the heat, the population, etc is worth dealing with to live in Florida. I know many people who lived there and hated it, I tell them "Glad you left, you left an open space for me when I move back", lol.

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      Catherine Giordano 14 months ago from Orlando Florida

      Cali2florida: I'm glad you picked up on the humor part. Consult with a real estate agent, but I have heard a lot of nice things about Mt. Dora. It has lots of charm. It might be just what you're looking for. Google it. Kissimmee is clogged with tourists. St. Cloud is too much of the boonies for me. And if you love humidity, Florida is the right place for you.

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      Cali2florida 14 months ago

      Catherine,

      When I first started reading your post I was concerned that it was more bad about Florida. My husband and I live in northern California and have been planning a move to Central Florida for 1.5 years now. Recently every person we know have been pointing out the bad points of Florida. I have been diligently researching and when I came on your blog I thought here are more negatives! I was laughing and back in the lets go mood after reading!

      I would love advise on where to live. We have been looking at Kissimmee and St Cloud mainly but have started looking a far North as Mount Dora. We want rural with acres. We are looking for our forever/retirement home. Some gators in the pond and the occasional python won't bother us much! :)

      One of the reasons we are moving to Florida is FOR the humidity. Yup I am one of those crazy persons who love it. I have psoriasis and it goes away in Florida and Mexico. I do love summer storms and warm rains!

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      Catherine Giordano 14 months ago from Orlando Florida

      Thank you hazeltos. The hub was written to be funny, but like all good humor, there is truth behind it. Almost every teacher my son had for all 12 years here in Florida was wonderful and caring. Former Gov.Jeb Bush and current Gov. Rick Scott try to blame teachers so they don't have to pay them and in order to convince people to put their kids in private school so the state doesn't have to pay to educate them.

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      hazeltos 14 months ago

      I laughed all the way through this amusing hub. I live in Florida and I see your point on every reason. I for one, love to laugh at myself. I do strongly agree about the schools though, it is not terrible teachers that have caused the lower scores in testing.

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      Catherine Giordano 15 months ago from Orlando Florida

      vocalcoach: So glad you are not planning to come to Florida. More room for me. Seriously, thanks for sharing. It's the best compliment I can get.

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      Audrey Hunt 15 months ago from Nashville Tn.

      I guess I'll stay right here in Tennessee:) Clever title for this very funny piece. Thanks Catherine. Sharing.

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      Catherine Giordano 15 months ago from Orlando Florida

      Greensleeves Hubs: I laughed reading your answer. I did write "20 Reasons Not to Moe to Florida" with tongue planted firmly in cheek. I'm glad you enjoyed the hub. Crocodiles don't show up in pools all that often. In fact, I think I only heard of that happening once, and I have been here for about 21 years. And you are right. I think the highest "mountain" in Florida is about 325 feet. You are also right about people with guns are a serious problem. Road rage incidents kill more people than crocodiles.

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      Greensleeves Hubs 15 months ago from Essex, UK

      Nice list of reasons to avoid Florida Catherine - most of them funny, but one or two serious. I can certainly agree with some of the serious ones. As for the others - well - if the population is too large, then just wait a while and maybe the sharks, bears, alligators, pythons, hurricanes, sinkholes, tornadoes and lightning strikes will gradually reduce the numbers to manageable proportions! I suspect though that some of your fellow citizens like George Zimmerman pose more of a threat to life and limb than any number of natural hazards. And at least there's not much danger of falling to your death from a mountain top!!

      Perhaps you should do a back-up hub to help reverse the immigration trend - '20 Reasons to Move to Alaska, Wyoming and Montana' (according to Wikipedia, the 3 least densely populated states! :) Good hub, Alun

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      Catherine Giordano 16 months ago from Orlando Florida

      Kathleen Cochran: You give me to much credit. I left out the joke about Yankees and hemorrhoids because I have never heard of that joke. Florida has no state income tax and that is a big draw. It is one of the things I took into account when I made my decision to move. I miss the change of the seasons less and less each year. It does get a little cold here in winter and that is a welcome change from the heat of summer.

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      Kathleen Cochran 16 months ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      Great hub! You left out the joke about Yankees in Florida being like hemmroids. I salute your restraint!

      Georgia has recently stopped taxing military retirement because they are tired of all the old soldiers moving to Florida.

      Seriously, I'd miss the change of seasons, but that's just me. Good job!

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      Kiss andTales 16 months ago

      You do have a good sense of humor, but some time ago I did save a picture of a alligator proped up at a pattio door. It look like he was saying this is al let me in the door. So funny but true experience at somebody's door.

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      Catherine Giordano 16 months ago from Orlando Florida

      Kiss nTales: A lot of that stuff--like alligators in your pool--is a very rare occurrence. Don't take everything I wrote too seriously. The essay was meant to be funny.

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      Kiss andTales 16 months ago

      Thank you I will tell her I think she would agree it is lovely , But I think your hub pointed out some unique considerations any one would want to know. Thanks again

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      Catherine Giordano 16 months ago from Orlando Florida

      Kiss andTales: Tell your daughter Florida is actually a lovely place. Thanks for stopping by to comment.

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      Kiss andTales 16 months ago

      Wonderful. Hub my daughter was considering moving there . but I think she went to a disney resort or somthing that gave good impressions. She had a fiance that lived there but wanted to leave Florida for chicago

      Never happened yet. Thank you for hub and good sense of humor ! I must say.

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      Paula 16 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Catherine....LMAO! You are quite the excellent comedy writer. This is hilarious. I laughed throughout, especially your statement about Zimmerman! You aren't kidding.

      Even our much-loved Floridians have admitted that this is funny and TRUE! LOL....I know Sha & Linda Sue would have a good sense of Humor about their State. Heck, if I can laugh at the horrible reputation of NEW YORK....everyone can laugh! We take a justifiable beating.

      You didn't need to offer me one single reason, Catherine. This NY'er would never voluntarily move South!

      Thanks for the entertainment! Peace, Paula

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      Catherine Giordano 17 months ago from Orlando Florida

      Sparrowler: Thanks for your comment. Florida has a lot of snow birds. I've heard good things about the Carolinas, but I haven't been there. Florida has lots of good things in addition to the bad ones I mentioned.

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      Katharine L Sparrow 17 months ago from Massachusetts, USA

      Many people where I live, on Cape Cod, (especially seniors) are snow birds who head to Florida to their winter condos or gated communities. I have never much liked Florida, myself, and would rather head for the coast of the Carolinas, if I need a winter escape! Nice hub, amusing and informative both!

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      Catherine Giordano 18 months ago from Orlando Florida

      I'm sorry you are having a hard time in Florida. I don't know why you expected it to be different. Florida is a low-wage state. The biggest sector is the tourist industry/service industry and those jobs do not pay well. However, there are good jobs if you have the skills and qualifications. P.S. There are plenty of roads heading North, but I advise waiting until blizzard season is over. You don't want to drive in that stuff.

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      floridasucks 18 months ago

      been here six months cant find a job over ten dollars an hour people are stupid would rather deal with snow and cold and making three times the money florida sucks

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      Damian 18 months ago from Naples

      Look forward to it.

      Stay well.

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      Catherine Giordano 18 months ago from Orlando Florida

      Damian10: Florida does have many beautiful places. And I appreciated the 70 degree temps while the northern states were enduring a blizzard. The beauties of Florida are a subject for another hub.

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      Damian 18 months ago from Naples

      Went with the wife on Saturday to the Warm Springs in North Port Florida. Water is 87 all year long. Lots of history and very scenic. Florida is both. Sometimes you have to search for it. From the Everglades to St. Augustine to the Indians. The beauty of Florida is just that... Downright beautiful. We have a timeshare in a place called Sebastian. Not fancy but a small fishing town on the Atlantic and it is one of the few places I actually relax. Great Hub.

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      Catherine Giordano 18 months ago from Orlando Florida

      greeneyedblondie: Maybe an obsession with tanning that could be the 21st reason not to move to Florida because the sun here is too strong. Actually everyone I know in Florida tries to stay out of the sun. It's the tourists who lay out in the sun. Thanks for your comment.

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      greeneyedblondie 18 months ago

      I lived in Florida for a year and it might have been in the worst year of my life. The people I met were obsessed with tanning it was beyond ridiculous. Remember that New Jersey woman that brought her kid into a tanning salon? Remember what she looked like? That's what the people looked like where I lived. Don't think I'm going back. Nice hub!

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      Catherine Giordano 19 months ago from Orlando Florida

      Damian10 This post has been getting a lot of views sent by google lately. I guess the blizzards are making people google "move to Florida." I hope my tongue-in-cheek diatribe doesn't discourage them. Or do I? Thanks for your comment.

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      Damian 19 months ago from Naples

      This is too funny! Very enjoyable. Still better than the blizzard stuff.

      Great job !

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      Catherine Giordano 2 years ago from Orlando Florida

      VioletteRose: I had never heard of sinkholes either before moving to Florida. I'm glad you enjoyed reading about the problems of Florida. I tried to write it in a humorous way.

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      VioletteRose 2 years ago from Chicago

      The hub is so funny but the information on sinkholes is terrifying. I have never heard of it before. I have lived in Chicago few years back, and we are going to live there again. At this point, I really don't know if I will have to live in Florida ever. However, very interesting read as well as very informative to those who wants to move to Florida.

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      Catherine Giordano 2 years ago from Orlando Florida

      brave warrior: I'm from New York. I'd rather clean up after a hurricane than after a blizzard.

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      Shauna L Bowling 2 years ago from Central Florida

      Catherine, I like it here too. It has its good, bad, and ugly, but it has no snow. I'd had my fill of snow by the time I moved here.

      At age 58, I guess I'm an old person too. I just don't feel old!

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      Catherine Giordano 2 years ago from Orlando Florida

      Thank you. bravewarrior. You make good points and you made me laugh. Be careful what you say about old people. Much to my surprise, I seem to have become an old person. I don't mind being away from the beaches--there are sharks in the water. I haven't seen huge spiders and mosquitoes. I guess Orlando is too citified. Despite all the complaints, I like living in Florida. There is bad stuff everywhere and Florida has its good points too.

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      Shauna L Bowling 2 years ago from Central Florida

      Catherine, I have to agree with everything you say here. Although humorous, it's all true!

      I moved to South Florida in 1976. It's beautiful there, but it became too congested so I moved to Central Florida in 1987. In fact, I'm not far from you; I live in Longwood.

      The summers get hotter every year. One thing that is hard to deal with is the humidity. When I lived in South Florida, it wasn't a problem. There was always a breeze between the Intracoastal and the the beach (where I lived and the rest of my family still do). Up here it's hard to breathe. The humidity is stifling. I find it harder and harder to spend time outside. It takes too long to get to the beaches from Central Florida. When I lived down south, I was within minutes from the beach.

      You forgot about the humongous spiders we get here. Especially if you live in wooded areas like I do. They don't show up often, but they scare the bejeezus out of me when they do - and they always seem to find refuge inside the house!

      Then there are the man-eating mosquitoes. They'll pick you up and carry you off!

      As you can see, I've been here a long time. I stay away from I-4 and never venture into the tourist areas. And you're right about the old people; they're everywhere!! By the way, did you know IHOP no longer stands for International House of Pancakes? I renamed it many years ago. It's now an acronym for I Hire Old People. :-)

      Oh - I'm proud to say, I never voted for Rick Scott. He's another one (without naming names) that I was astonished to see elected to office for a second term.

      I've bent your ear long enough. I really enjoyed your article. You nailed life in Florida - Central Florida, anyway.

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      Catherine Giordano 2 years ago from Orlando Florida

      Missy Smith: I actually love living in Florida and I'm very glad I chose to live in Orlando. I'm originally from NYC so I like a city atmosphere. This is the best of both worlds. Thanks for your comment. And your votes. And your praise.

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      Missy Smith 2 years ago from Florida

      I found this article quite funny, as I too am a Floridian, I've lived here all my life, give or take a few years when I was a kid, I lived in Georgia. However, it was such a long time ago; those years don't count. I was actually born here in Florida.

      I agree with every single bit of this. All your views are so hysterically correct. Although, the ones about the governor and politics, I don't know, I choose not to partake in political discussions or views. However, everything else is spot on.

      I feel for you living in Orlando. I live in one of the small towns right out of Jacksonville, and I hate to have to go there sometimes, Orlando; I would be pulling my hair out. lol...

      As a fellow Floridian, I'm not mad at you for writing this at all as I've seen one comment from someone, who, for some reason, was offended. I mean Why?? The truth is the truth, and you certainly told that.

      Great article. Voting ^^^^ on all counts *useful *interesting *beautiful * awesome and I won't forget *funny. I giggled all the way through it.

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      Kristen Howe 2 years ago from Northeast Ohio

      Thanks Catherine. No worries. I never been to Sea World. When I moved to Ohio 15 years ago, it closed and relocated to Texas I think. Maybe someday I'll go back to Florida. I love manatees!

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      Catherine Giordano 2 years ago from Orlando Florida

      Kristen Howe: I was only joking about Florida being terrible. It is actually a nice place to live (for the most part). Universal Studios has added Hogwarts and so much else. It is worth another visit. I would visit SeaWorld too. It has been getting so much bad press, but it my favorite park. Go see the penguins and the manatees.

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      Kristen Howe 2 years ago from Northeast Ohio

      Catherine, great hub. I've been to Florida twice--the last time was when I was 13 years old, when they added MGM studios. I do have relatives who go there in the winter (my dad) and live there half the year (my uncle). Voted up!

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      Arc 4 Life 2 years ago from Florida

      I hear You. I guess you could say something about every state. I hope I still love it after 30 years, LOL!

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      Catherine Giordano 2 years ago from Orlando Florida

      Arc4life: Just like you, my first year I felt like I was on vacation. Truth be told, Florida is no worse than any place else. I was just having fun making fun of Florida.

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      Arc 4 Life 2 years ago from Florida

      This is a such a funny hub...very interesting stuff. Some of it is unfortunately true. I am a walker everyday and I cannot get over how people never yield. Its like they don't even see you. As a new resident, I still feel like on a forever vacation.

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      Catherine Giordano 2 years ago from Orlando Florida

      Say Yes to Life: I didn't move to Florida until 1970. Florida is pretty much like every other state in the U.S. I wrote this tongue in cheek, but perhaps there is just a bit too much truth in it. I hope you enjoyed the article. I don't blame you for not wanting to visit Florida.

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      Yoleen Lucas 2 years ago from Big Island of Hawaii

      I've never been to Florida, and never had any desire to go. The few people I've known who have visited told me some weird stories, so that scared me off. My ex-sister in law, who is white, went there in the 1970s with Up With People, and she had to fake a southern accent to keep from being harassed. She was walking down the street in a small town once, and some blacks saw her coming and stepped off the sidewalk. When she asked them why, they said it was the law; they had to do that!

      Laura Ingalls Wilder (Little House on the Prairie author) lived in the panhandle of Florida in the early 1890s with her husband Almanzo and daughter Rose, who was 6 years old at the time. Laura had to keep a gun with her at all times. When a neighbor tried to poison Rose with a gumball, the family decided it was time to leave.

      A number of things you wrote about, I didn't know, but thanks for the warning,

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      Catherine Giordano 2 years ago from Orlando Florida

      TheBizWhiz: It may be cost effective if it prevents more accidentally missed tolls. Or it may just be another wacky quirk of the Sunshine State.

      Once my transponder was not working right and I can't remember if I had to pay a fee when I got the bill for the missing tolls. Thanks for commenting.

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      TheBizWhiz 2 years ago

      I just made a donation to the sunshine state! I recently went on a trip to Miami and accidentally missed a toll, so they sent me the invoice for a whole $3.75! I tried to scan and e-mail a stack of quarters, but it didn't work, so I just paid online.

      I actually thought it was pretty cool that they didn't tack on some other charges, but it doesn't seem very cost effective to send bills for something so small.

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      Catherine Giordano 2 years ago from Orlando Florida

      letstalkabouteduc: Thanks for commenting. It was very entertaining for me to collect all of these Florida follies. I'm glad you enjoyed them.

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      McKenna Meyers 2 years ago from Bend, OR

      I love how Florida is always in the national spotlight for some craziness -- George Zimmerman, Casey Anthony, etc. You guys keep us entertained. I think you've topped California and that's saying something! I would love to travel around Florida but am not looking to move any place with lots of traffic. That's why we moved from the Bay Area!

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      Catherine Giordano 2 years ago from Orlando Florida

      trimmedvintage: Yes, I live in Florida and I am very happy to live in Florida. My litany of complaints was all done tongue-in-cheek for laughs.

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      Rachel Gregory 2 years ago from Tennessee

      I don't think any of these negative items would detour me from moving there. Just out of curiosity... do you still live there? Where did you move from or to? Many places have these same issues. California has wild fires and earthquakes. Here in TN we have terrible ice storms and tornadoes. I think it's the positive items that keep people attracted to the state. It outshines the negative.

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      Catherine Giordano 2 years ago from Orlando Florida

      Blackspaniel1: Yes, Florida is not unique and we do have theme parks. I actually like living in Florida and I like poking fun at it too. Thanks for your comment.

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      Blackspaniel1 2 years ago

      I read many things that could apply here, in Louisiana. It is hot, has alligators, has had a large number of elected officials go to the graybar hotel (prison), and hurricanes. At least you have theme parks where ou can go and get away from it all.

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      Catherine Giordano 2 years ago from Orlando Florida

      Shush Don't tell everyone how great Florida is. They will all want to move here. I came from New York in 1995. I remember one day from my first year. It was December and I went out to the mailbox barefoot. I said, "Wow, August is sure lasting a long time this year. "

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      Mary Hyatt 2 years ago from Florida

      I also came to Florida in 1965, and have never regretted it. I live in flip flops and T-shirts. I'm a little ole' lady, but my kids tell me I drive like a teenager!

      I do not like the regular thunderstorms we have in Summer, though. The first New Year's Day I spent on the beach with my four children. I came from Atlanta where it gets very cold. I remember thinking to myself: This is the place I have looked for all my life!

      Wonderful Hub! Voted UP, etc. and shared.

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      Catherine Giordano 2 years ago from Orlando Florida

      Downtown Winter Park is generally considered the nicest part of Central Florida, unless you count Anytown USA in Walt Disney World. Thanks, TheBizWhiz, for commenting.

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      TheBizWhiz 2 years ago

      What is the nicest area around Orlando? Is it Winter Park? I have been there once and it looked like a great city.

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      Catherine Giordano 2 years ago from Orlando Florida

      I was only kidding, Stargrrl. I live in Florida and love it too. I also love thunderstorms. In the summer, we get one almost every day. But remember, I warned you. (Just joking again.)

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      Stargrrl 2 years ago

      Despite your warnings, I love Florida and do plan to move there when I retire. I also love thunderstorms, and Florida gets some good ones!