Lauhulu writes about their passions for teaching, healthy living, and financial planning.
Five years ago my husband and I moved from not quite the city (more like the suburbs) to the country. Geographically isolated, my visions of quick airplane trips to shop and visit on days off and over weekends were dashed with challenging financial circumstances. It was a transition much more difficult than either of us imagined. And, left on our own with few friends or entertainment options, it was stressful on our marriage as well.
Today, if we had the opportunity to pick up our house and put it anywhere else in the world, I am sure that both of us would decline the offer. Perseverance has paid off, and we now see the value of a slower lifestyle in a small community. The following are strategies that helped to ease the transition (and the more we apply them, the happier we seem to be).
Listen and Learn
In new surroundings, it is vital to develop your listening skills. People are talking about the issues and politics of the area. Take the community pulse. Don't be the new person coming in and trying to apply your big-city viewpoint to a place with its own unique history. Also, in small towns many people are related or connected somehow. It is helpful to recognize this and learn the connections. It helps to break the ice when you can say “Oh, I met your cousin the other day!”
In the beginning, I remember feeling like I was in some kind of rehab facility. I know that's weird, but I was used to going to bars, concerts, art openings, and restaurants for social activities. In my new home, those things just weren't happening. Instead, I was going to fairs, fundraisers, rodeos, and family parties, all with massive amounts of children in attendance. It just is not the same vibe, but does give you a good glimpse of the people who live there, and something to talk about with your new co-workers. It helps you to become part of the community, not a stranger who just happens to live there.
Smile and Be Friendly
When I expressed nervousness about “fitting in” to a friend before I moved, she reminded me that being a rural place, other people would also be nervous about me. Certain openness is critical as to how you are perceived in a small town. I can honestly say that I have made more quality friendships in the five years here than I did in the fifteen years I lived in my previous town. I attribute much of this to my effort to be open and friendly with people.
There is nothing worse than someone who moves to a new place and then does nothing but complain about it. Where I live, the service is slow and sometimes terrible, the selection of things to buy is poor, the prices are high, and things are generally inefficient and inconvenient. I have a choice. I can both further alienate and mark myself as an outsider by constantly and loudly complaining about it, or I can appreciate all that is awesome about it. There is no line at the DMV, parking at the airport is close and free, there is no traffic (and there are no traffic lights), and everyone waves to each other. How great is that?
Cultivate the Values and the Lifestyle
Well, I do miss good Thai and Mexican restaurants, but guess what? I have learned to cook! I have my own chickens and fresh eggs. I grow my own sprouts. I wear jeans and t-shirts more than anything else. A day out on the boat replaces a day at the mall, and an evening at the beach replaces happy hour. Allow the natural rhythms of a rural lifestyle to guide you, and your priorities will naturally shift. I have a feeling that the rewards will continue to accrue.
Be a Big Fish in a Small Sea
When we do go out at night, chances are we know the musicians. They all have day jobs, but at night have the opportunity to practice their passion. Use the slowed-down lifestyle to pursue greatness in your creative or intellectual pursuits. There is time to practice, time to focus, and usually a venue in which you can shine. Crafters and artists refine their skills, use the Saturday market as their test crowd, and then sometimes shoot to success. Both my husband and I have pursued hobbies that I have a feeling we would have never gotten around to in our old location. It is those moments, when the guy who I bought my groceries from is knocking out the crowd with his fabulous voice, that I love rural living the most.
A link to my personal story about making the move!
This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. Content is for informational or entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for personal counsel or professional advice in business, financial, legal, or technical matters.
Richard Warren from London, United Kingdom on November 26, 2013:
I like your story. You embraced well in your rural living and seems enjoying it.
Lauhulu (author) from Hawaii, United States on January 21, 2013:
Thank you so much for your positive comment Prasetio!
prasetio30 from malang-indonesia on January 21, 2013:
Very inspiring hub. As a tropical country, there's a lot of banana trees in Indonesia. The chicken farm also enrich the village in my country. I hope I can visit Hawaii one day. Thanks for share with us. Voted up!
Lauhulu (author) from Hawaii, United States on January 20, 2013:
Thank you moonlake! Yes, my husband said that this is the first place he has ever been able to relax!
moonlake from America on January 20, 2013:
Most of our married life we have lived in a rural area. We tried the big city early in our marriage and decided we couldn't handle it. Sounds like you did all the right things. I love your chicken pictures. Voted up.
Lauhulu (author) from Hawaii, United States on January 20, 2013:
Wow, thanks ladies, for the positive feedback!
Devika Primić from Dubrovnik, Croatia on January 20, 2013:
I do know what it is like to move from South Africa I once lived in city with a few million people to now a village of over a hundred and have adjusted to a completely different lifestyle. A big change for me.
Pamela Dapples from Just Arizona Now on January 20, 2013:
It is wonderful that you live on Molokai. It is wonderful that you have shared these thoughts with us. You have made so many true observations and seem to have done the smart thing in every instance. I remember when I first moved to Oahu (for five years) I was amazed at the poor customer service but by the time we moved away I had come to love that service. It wasn't poor at all. Yes, one might stand in line while the cashier talked to Auntie about the community happenings and the newborn baby instead of trying to serve the next customer, but it was selfish of me to feel resentment instead of happiness for these people. You have written so beautifully about a sense of community and the importance of it on the Hawaiian Islands -- and anywhere.
When we moved to Maui in 2006, a smaller community, I was grateful for the lessons I had learned on the bigger island. The lessons in giving back, participating in the community -- sharing the love and the sorrows.
I love this hub. Voting up, useful, beautiful and Sharing.
Cygnet Brown from Springfield, Missouri on January 13, 2013:
I recently took the opposite journey moving from the country to an urban area. Rural life can be a lot of work. Congrats on your recent move.