Networking Tips (and Traps!): Preventing Brain Picking
Say you're a consultant (or coach) and your networking 1:1 (one-to-one) meeting with a new connection is going great. You're chatting about your shared affinity for a favorite pop star, where you went to college, your crazy pets, that new restaurant in the area and, of course, what you do for work. Your new pal starts talking about some of the challenges she's facing in her business. And then, here it comes...
"I'd like to pick your brain about..."
"What do you think I should do about..."
"I'm working on ____, could you just take a look at this and see what you think?"
Ugh! You've just walked into a brain picking!
This scenario is all too familiar for those in the consulting professions. I can't tell you how many billable hours I've forfeited due to being brain picked! Many people cannot distinguish between what's friendly conversation and what's consulting or coaching. Even worse is that consultants often don't know how to politely respond to these requests for input, whether they occur on the phone or in an in-person meeting as the one described above. They're afraid of hurting the other person who could be a potential client. So they usually cave in and comply.
From another perspective, the networker asking for advice has not officially hired the consultant. So is the consultant liable for any advice given?
Creating Boundaries and Possibilities for Brain Picks
As a consultant active in the networking scene, you will likely receive invitations for coffee, meals or phone meetings with new connections. These meetings can be very important for building rapport with potential clients and referral partners. So, yes, accept invitations from those you feel could be relevant connections.
From my experience, these meetings are usually very enjoyable and deepen important friendships. But you need to be extremely vigilant and listen carefully for statements like those highlighted at the beginning of the article. When they occur, you need to sidestep answering and suggest that those issues be addressed in a separate (PAID, we hope!) session dedicated to addressing the person's needs. Best way to be ready is to have a response script prepared and practiced.
Brain Pick Script Elements:
- Acknowledge the person's need and the importance of addressing it.
- Stress that limited time and attention exists in the current "networking" meeting.
- Invite to a paid consulting session. Indicating how much it will cost can help ease their minds. Alternatively, if you offer a free initial assessment or consult, invite them to book it so that you can get them into your sales funnel.
"That's an important issue that could really affect the future of your business [health, family or whatever the issue is]. Since we have limited time in our networking meetup today, let's plan to dedicate some time to your issue in a consulting session. I charge $ [insert details on costs and booking]. Should we take a look at our calendars and book that session now?"
You may find that interjecting an offer like this—and setting a healthy boundary—may completely disarm your network buddies. They may decline your offer initially, but will likely keep it in the back of their minds. Or they may feel that you are opportunistic, selfish, etc. That's THEIR problem! But you'll have planted a seed that:
- You have knowledge, skill and experience to address their concerns; and,
- Your time and talent are valuable... and that you respect their time, too.
Brain Pick Redirect: Referral to a Networking Colleague
If you cannot address these people's concerns, that's fine. And you don't want to stress out your brain trying to find an answer that you don't have, especially in the short period of time in a networking meeting. You are much better off referring inappropriate opportunities to another networking connection who can help. In that case, the script would be altered a bit:
Brain Pick Script Elements for a Referral
- Acknowledge the person's need and the importance of addressing it
- Indicate that you don't have the skills, experience, etc. to competently address their needs.
- Ask if they would be interested in being referred to one of your colleagues.
"That's an important issue that could really affect the future of your business [health, family or whatever the issue is]. However, since I specialize in [insert your specialty here], I'm probably not the best person to talk to about this. Would you mind if I refer you to a colleague of mine who's better qualified?"
You'll look like a well-connected professional and your network pal can get the help they really need. I've successfully done this on a number of occasions!
This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. Content is for informational or entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for personal counsel or professional advice in business, financial, legal, or technical matters.
Questions & Answers
© 2016 Heidi Thorne